The Sibling Effect  

I loved being an only child. I loved having my parents all to myself. I loved being included in their adult world. I loved the privileges and access my only-child status got me. I loved it so much that I wanted G to be an only child as well, and cried bitter tears when I realized she'd never have that same upbringing.

Would you believe that nearly 30 years of life experience has been changed by a single book?

OK, probably not... but Jeffrey Kluger's new book "The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us" (Riverhead; $26.95) comes close. Kluger, himself a sibling with three brothers and a half-brother and half-sister, is also a journalist; he wrote two cover articles for Time magazine on siblings, which gave him the inspiration for this book.

In the book, which skillfully weaves Kluger's personal narrative with stories from other siblings along with a compilation of research and academic experts, Kluger touches on just about every facet of sibling revelry -- and rivalry -- out there. Birth order, blended families, the impact of gender, age, and ethnicity: they're all in here. (So are two references to Peyton Manning and his prolific football family, which, of course, automatically endeared me to Kluger, whom I now believe is a closet Colts fan despite living in Eli Manning's backyard.)

But it was the chapter on only children that captured my attention so completely that I reread it three times. Of course, I already knew a lot of Kluger had to say and what his research affirmed: singletons -- because of their intense, prolonged exposure to adults -- tend to be more mature, better integrated into the adult world, and (contrary to popular belief) just as social and outgoing as their peers with siblings. I even knew that research showed positive benefits when it comes to the IQ of many singletons.

What I didn't realize was how much -- deep, deep down inside -- I always wanted a sibling. How scared I am of growing old and having no one to help me (physically, financially, emotionally) support my parents. How lonely I was at times as a child. How happy I am that I didn't force G to be an only child like I'd originally planned.

Kluger's crafty writing changed how I view my husband's relationships with his siblings; as the third of four children and the "middle" of three boys, I now see why he felt the need to leave home -- since he wasn't the oldest, the youngest or the only girl, he didn't feel as "needed" by his parents as the other kids. This book changed how I view my relationship with my parents. But -- and most importantly -- it's changed how I view my relationship with my children, and the relationship my children will have with each other.

I won't go into a summary of the whole book, because (a) it's too long and (b) I couldn't put it half as eloquently as Kluger. But I've never been so entertained or intrigued by a research-based book as I was by "The Sibling Effect."

By the way, if you think Kluger or his book sound familiar, you're probably right; during the PR uptick for the release of "The Sibling Effect," Kluger appeared on several shows including Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report"!