One of my top rules as a mother is to "Say what you mean and mean what you say." But so often as parents, we do exactly the opposite. So, here's my list of the top five parenting euphemisms -- I hope you'll share your own in the comments section!
We were up all night with the baby.
What this really means: I was up all night. DH spent the entire night dead to the world, sleeping as though the baby monitor -- which is strategically placed on his side of the bed -- weren't blaring in his ear while the baby cried for three non-stop hours.
Our toddler is a picky eater.
What this really means: Even though she won't touch anything that's green, she happily eats everything that has sugar in it. In fact, she's been known to come up to me in the middle of the day and ask for a spoon full of sugar. (Note to self: stop letting her watch "Mary Poppins.")
She is so full of energy.
What this really means: How on earth does my child wake up at the crack of dawn, refuse to go to sleep until the sun sets, and do it all without napping in between? How? HOW??? Obviously, somebody slipped her speed at preschool.
He's such a good pooper.
What this really means: After staining all the pricey cloth diapers we bought for him with one massive blowout, he then managed to poop through half a pack of disposable diapers. At least I won't have to find the cash for a colonic.
She has a strong independent streak.
What this really means: Don't take this child's toys away from her at play group! Failure to heed this warning may result in said child screaming, throwing the toy and subsequently spending the rest of the play date crying in the corner.
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LOL How DO mensleep through all that crying??
As said by me during the interview for after school nanny:
He is a really good boy, but can be a bit of a challenge. meaning: As long as you do what he wants when he wants it & feed him exactly what he - otherwise, be prepared for the backlash we live with daily
We have a bed time routine & it gets followed. I have a goal. I drew the picture. I've reviewed it with DS. DH ignores it & as a result, DS is good with it until the sleep part - then he asks for Daddy
Ahhh... E is also such a "good pooper". In our house it means he enjoys destroying his clothes, especially the outfits he's wearing for the first time, and turning himself orange in the process! I have, however, discovered that Dawn works wonders on clothing stains when used to pre-wash them!
As for my G, when we say "She's so tired" what we really mean is "I'm sorry she is in such a horrible mood, you're better off keeping your distance."
Made me think of the time(s) Bob has said in the morning, while I sit there catatonic in my chair moving my cereal around in the bowl.... "Gee...the baby didn't wake up AT ALL last night." Then, as I slowly swim out of my state, my eyes look up at him and I stare... shooting flames at him.
So true... I can relate to Ali's comment. People say wow you have a really good baby. My response, "As long as I feed him exactly when he decides he's hungry, he's great."
The Man could sleep through the kids crying until the afternoon...I don't understand it! Even though we have 2 now and they are twice as vocal - he still doesn't budge...its not fair!
wm
In one word--yep!
You are so right! About everything!