Is There A Groupon For That?  

Posted by: Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom in , ,



My best friend and I both nursed our daughters for 14 months; we're now in the midst of nursing our sons (her boy is exactly two months ahead of Baby C). And we are both suffering from "ping-pong-balls-in-an-old-nylon-stocking" boob syndrome.

If you've nursed your children for any extended period of time (or, you frequently go sans bra), you know what I'm talking about. First, the skin of your breasts lose all elasticity. Then, the longer you nurse, the less dense your breast tissue becomes. The final result are boobs that look like something straight out of the pages of National Geographic magazine.

Back in the early days of this blog, I wrote a post about my desire to get a boob job. My admission came as a shock to me, as I've never been an advocate of plastic surgery of any kind. I'm not even an advocate of changing something as basic as your hair color; I've always thought that if God made you one way, you should stay that way. But -- and maybe this is proof of my utter vanity and self-centeredness -- the moment I realized what prolonged nursing of one child had done to my body, I was positive I'd get a breast lift just as soon as I was done having (and nursing) children.

Turns out, I wasn't alone. A ton of people commented on my December 2009 post about boob jobs. Recently, I've started having this conversation again -- not only with my best friend, but with several other close friends who, like me, have had a child or two (or in some cases, three or four) over the last few years. And apparently, now we ALL want boob jobs.

That's where Groupon comes in. Over the past year, I've used this website -- along with others like Living Social and Eversave -- to score deals and discounts on everything from organic groceries to salon services to carpet cleaning.

I know I don't have the spare change (I've been told a good breast job would cost between $6,000-$8,000) to pay full price for a boob job. But what if Groupon offered 50% off? A sort of "buy one, get one" deal on a breast lift? It's a concept my friends and I have debated; some of us have actually talked in depth about recruiting a plastic surgeon to give us a steep discount on a boob job if we guaranteed him he'd have not only one person's business, but half a dozen women coming to him.

I don't need bigger boobs. I just want my boobs back -- the ones I had before I got pregnant the first time. The boobs that sat up nice and high on my chest (instead of down by my belly button); the boobs that had smooth, taut skin; the boobs that looked like pure porcelain (instead of marred by stretch marks). Is that so much to ask?

So Groupon... what'd'ya say?

What out-of-the-ordinary things would you buy... if there was a good coupon for it?

This entry was posted on Monday, September 26, 2011 and is filed under , , . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .

10 comments

oddly i had this exact conversation last night! oh how they change and its not so exciting to have them after nursing.
I say go for it and if you get a groupon can you ask that they include a mom in California as well.....I'm just saying...

Good question! What a creative post.

I love living social - I too took advantage of the Whole Foods offer on there a couple weeks ago.

Boobs are definitely never the same again after breastfeeding and I can understand why many women would want a boob job afterwards. I hope they do run a special so you can get one!

I want boobs that when you lay down and you look down at your chest, you SEE them still...instead of, "where did they go?"

Perhaps a plastic surgeon would do a group rate... kind of like a "boob job party" ... similar to the botox parties ladies have. I can host it. Everyone can bring a dish.

Ha! I'm pregnant with my first and we plan to have 1 or 2 more after this one and I've already told my hubby he better start saving for a breast lift. I don't want fake ones, I just want to put them back where they go. I've already gone up 3 cup sizes and I'm only half way through my pregnancy. I can only imagine the damage occurring! Groupon is a BRILLIANT idea! I'd totally buy that.

I've all ready told Jason that he WILL be buying me a boob lift as a "You're a fabulous mother" present once I'm done having/breastfeeding kiddos. I would be all over that Groupon deal!! :)

OMG! I love the picture you posted with this blog because that is how my friends and I describe "the girls" these days. We could be poster moms for National Geographic!

I would love if Groupon would have a deal like this.. I would also take one for Botox, and fillers of any kind. Ooh, hair extensions and the like would be great too. Getting older is kind of hard. I have never been an advocate of plastic surgery either but that's before my boobs hung to the ground and my skin began to sag and resemble an old, worn-in leather purse.

Glad I found your blog and am now following!

Hehehe, too funny I might get on that. Although to be honest it took about a year post nursing but my boobs started to look better. It took a long time to get over that deflated look. I mean they still had stretch marks (but hell the rest of me does too). I am about six months out post nursing my second for a year and I am hoping they will start to look better soon. If not I am all over that groupon!

Please let me know when they do come out with a groupon for boobies. I need one too.

Girl, you got me rolling on the floor laughing with this one. Blog walking and came upon this post. Outrageously funny and I just had to leave a comment. "ping-pong-balls.." Ha ha ha. Surely they should have a buy one get one free special. Laughing hysterically. If I hadn't followed before, I'm following now...

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