With me working freelance out of our home more often these days, I've started to see the need for a babysitter again.
The first time we sought a childcare provider for G -- a process that started before she was born and didn't end until she was the age Baby C is right about now -- it was a laborious process. We did drop-in visits at local childcare centers, in-home daycares, and interviewed countless potential nannies before finally settling on the most wonderful sitter a mom could ask for: the kind of sitter that made it ok for me to go back to work full-time.
This time around, though, things are different. For one thing, money is tighter so our budget is much lower. I know how hard it is to find good help, but geez, our new sitter is a bit of a square... or really, she's more like a rectangle.
That's because -- if you haven't figured it out already -- our new sitter is the television.
Sigh.
A year ago, I was the type of mom who lorded it over other women in my playgroup that G only watched a scant 30 minutes of TV a day. Easy for me to say! I was working the evening shift (3-11:30pm) at the TV station, and I wasn't home with her half the time; sure, I only let her watch 30 minutes of TV daily -- but how much did DH let her watch when I was at work? or the sitter? I'm sure it was far more than just one episode of her beloved "Dora"...
But fast-forward a year, through a tough pregnancy and the birth of our son, and my TV mantra is vastly different. I admit, there are times when I use Disney's "Tangled" in lieu of a nap (why? Because she refuses to nap, but will happily watch Rapunzel swing from her own hair for 90 minutes straight); there are times when I plop her down in front of a "Fresh Beat Band" marathon on Nick Jr. (by the way, am I the only one who doesn't like the new Marina?) as I do my work; there are nights when I'm so exhausted by 7pm -- and so ready for DH to get home roughly 30-45 minutes later -- that I let her watch "Backyardigans" til the cows (or rather, Daddy) come home.
Where I was once judgmental about other families and their TV habits, I must now admit to my own weaknesses and faults. I've read all the studies about how too much TV time (two hours a day seems to be the upward limit, before negative repercussions start to surface -- I do try to keep it under this amount); heck, when I was still working in TV news, I was writing those stories for broadcast!
But now, I see TV for what it really is: a work-at-home's mom best friend, and her worst enemy. I guess that makes it a "frenemy," right?
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This is a great topic, and one I'm sure most work-at-home/stay-at-home moms think about... Gracie has always enjoyed watching her favorite shows (she loves Backyardigans, and so do I!), but I've tried to keep her TV time to a minimum. I think she would happily curl up and watch Nick Jr. for hours if I let her. I'd guess that on an average day spent at home, she easily watches an hour or more. I'm always adding up her TV time in my head, trying to also stick to that two hour rule I've read about!
I'd say the TV became a babysitter for me during the weeks following Ethan's birth. I was so tired and she'd get bored sitting around waiting for me to finish breastfeeding, so off to watch TV she went! Now that we're in more of a routine, it hasn't been as much of an issue, but she is currently loving Angelina Ballerina movies and will give me fight sometimes to watch them!
Honestly? I let my daughter watch more tv then I really want to admit.
I tell myself that she colors, or writes, or plays with toys at the same time, so the tv is just more of a background thing.....but that is a thin excuse.
I've come to justify that the TV means a little sanity for momma from time to time. I try to contain it to an episode while I'm getting dinner on the table but some days, it's probably more than it should be. Thankfully he's in daycare much of the week so he really doesn't watch too much but Bug does love himself some TV - and frankly, so do I!!
As I read your blog I too added up the minutes...well, hours in my head. She wakes up at 7AM and will watch about 45-60 minutes in my bed while I sleep. Does that count? Then we usually play an episode of Caillou on the computer (Thank you Netflix streaming) while we fix dinner and or need some "quiet time" around the house...i.e. Ryan is napping in his swing. So total, yes it probably comes to 2 hours a day. But like another blogger posted above, she also plays, colors, sings, swings, runs around... I think K and G will be just fine. I think too much TV means neglect in some houses... not necessarily "brain rot". Our kids are NOT neglected.
As much as I hate to admit it, the TV is almost always on in our house. Sometimes it is the news - other times it is iCarly (I refuse to allow the new Marina into our home) - and still others Law & Order. It seems like we can't quite cut ties with the rectangle demon and I honestly don't like it. I am hoping that once both kiddos get a little older that it will be easier to get them both out of the house and running about the neighborhood...but for now, I still need to carry Bubba around and Lulu would rather let her eyes glaze over. Mothers of the Year - that's us!
WM
We are there too.
Unintentionally and unexpectedly.
Gah. Over a year ago, I had the same judgements. I remember being at a friends house and her 3 year old waking up to a "World World" on PBS and thinking, wow.
Um yeah, fast forward a year through the defense of a masters and phd and the buying of a house and moving.
These days, at least during the winter months.... Sid the Science kid was our mainstay (especially during the 5 to 6 stomach viruses we endured this past year). I know every episode by heart (as does he). The books too (which are a poor version of the TV episodes, but at least I can point at words).
During the summer we only watch about an hour and often less (he'd rather ride the bus or go to the park ect). During the winter... eee gads, maybe 3 or 4 (see me cringe)???? During a particularly whiny day during the summer, 2??? We have episodes of Sid, Dinosaur Train, and Super Why on our networked home computers.... so no commercials, but available 24/7.
But... he isn't so interested anymore. Crud. Luckily life isn't so difficult right now, but I am sure it *will* be soon.
The ironic things I've found:
1) he actually USES the information he's learned from Sid the Science Kid *in context*! (He tries to lift the table, says it is heavy, so he needs an "incline plane").
2) I *try* to limit it to "educational" videos.
I still feel very guilty. But I try to remember how many things I've learned from TV (many backed up from real life experience).
I still feel guilty.
Ugh more than I want. We honestly did only 30 minutes until the summer I was home with both my son 3 and our new baby. Then I realized the true greatness of tv. Now he gets to watch PBS (Super Why is super great because it teaches reading and is really interesting and dinosaur train too) while his little sister naps. That might be an hour or it might be two depending. Now that I am back at work he can watching from the time he eats breakfast until he leave for school which is about an hour and half. Yet on a bad yucky day or if he is cranky it is more after his afternoon nap.
I'm a work at home grandma who also allows my grandson to watch too much TV. I know his mom and sitter do the same. He isn't even interested in playing outside like my kid did. If he's not watching TV, he wants to play games on the computer or iPhone. He's only 4 for heavens sake!
What's a WAHG to do??