Big Sister's Revenge  

DH & I spent the better part of nine months preparing G for the arrival of her new sibling.

"Babies cry a lot," I'd tell her when she'd ask why her friend's baby sister was howling during a play date.

"Babies can't play with you yet," I'd remind her when that same baby sister just stared at her when G offered her a favorite toy.

"Mommy will need to hold the baby," I'd use as an explanation for why I couldn't carry her in the grocery store parking lot.

So when Baby C arrived, G was prepared for a little person who would cry, not play with her toys and always be in Mommy or Daddy's arms.

Unfortunately, we didn't do a very good job of preparing her for some of the other very important elements of C's arrival. For the past several weeks, I'd been storing some old toys in C's closet until I figured out what to do with them. When G found them, they proved to be ample distraction, giving me the time to cook, clean or simply rest. Now, C's here and playtime in his closet has been nixed. G's not happy.

I also forgot to mention to G that babies sleep a lot... and that when they're sleeping, we need to do our best to be quiet. My good friend "M" told me last summer -- after the birth of her second son -- that she'd never realized how loud her older child was; today, I can say that I completely understand that statement. I've found myself telling her to speak in her "library voice" more times in the past week than I did in her entire life up to this point. G's really not happy about that.

But most of all, I forgot to teach G about the importance of gentle touches. Yes, we practiced holding, burping and feeding Baby C on some of G's stuffed animals; I thought it was cute when Myrtle the Bear ended up dangling by one leg mid-diaper change. Although G is very gentle while holding C, she's not quite as gentle when DH or I am holding him. That's when she starts trying to lift his eyelids to get him to wake up, or sticking her fingers in his mouth when she thinks he needs a binky. Then, she usually gets a scolding, to which she responds with protests that she was listening, which ultimately leads to a few minutes on the timeout step. Again, not happy.

But truly, these moments are (surprisingly) few and far between. She's as in love with her baby brother as her father and I are. She's always asking us how she can be a helper; she willingly brings us wipes, throws away dirty diapers and fetches his binky. She's expressed virtually no signs of jealousy. She wants to wear her "Big Sister" shirt every day, and tells random strangers in the grocery store or at the park that she has a baby brother.

I grew up without a sibling, so watching her interact with C has been eye-opening for me. I pray the two of them will become friends -- dare I say, best friends? -- over the years. I hope they'll love each other as much as DH & I love them.