I woke up this morning with arthritis, a touch of dementia, and liver spots...

Why, you ask?

Because the plans are in the works for my 10-year high school reunion.

A few years ago, had you asked me if I planned to attend my 10-year reunion, I'm not sure I would have said "yes". I don't have bad memories of high school. I don't really have good memories of high school, either. In fact, I don't really have any memories from high school. I remember snippets-- dances, big swim meets, a teacher or two-- but all in all, high school seems like a massive dream to me, vague and fuzzy at the edges, the reality just slightly out of reach for my mommy-frazzled memory.

Let's do a quick rundown of who I was-- and who I was not-- in high school... and I have to be completely honest, because I know at least half a dozen (maybe more???) of my former classmates read this blog.

I was...
-A 4.0 student who took every AP class possible
-A girl who really loved learning and didn't mind homework
-An All-American swimmer at a school where swimming wasn't cool, nor was it uncool... it just sort of was
-Friends with a lot of people in a lot of different groups

I was not...
-"popular"

But despite all those labels we had back then (nerd? jock? cool? a loser?), there are only two labels that really matter now:

WIFE and MOM
And for those two reasons, I will go to my reunion.

Over the past few years-- thanks to sites like Facebook and, yes, Blogger-- I have been able to connect with classmates from high school; some were friends back them, others just acquaintances, others still, simply strangers in the hall. But after reading their blogs, names like Lainie, Tricia, Emily, Melody, Jenny, Colleen, Kim, have taken on new meaning to me. They're women with whom I've seen grow into adults and into mothers because of this amazing thing called the "blogosphere". And they're women I'm looking forward to seeing at my reunion.

What about you?
Did you go to your last high school reunion?
Why? Did you end up enjoying it?

Last week, my mom-- a pre-K thru 3rd grade autism inclusion teacher-- had to attend an inservice for work.

They didn't discuss IEPs...

They didn't discuss curriculum...

They discussed "The Man Rules".

You heard me right.
The Man Rules.

Even my mom isn't quite sure how this routine inservice began a how-to on the male psyche... more specifically, on the male psyche in the bathroom. All I know is, the topic of this inservice has created a chasm wider and deeper than the Grand Canyon between my mom and dad, and now, between DH & me.

When the lecturer for this inservice (a well-known child psychologist from The Cleveland Clinic) walked into the room to instruct my mom and about 2 dozen other educators, he wrote this phrase on the board:

"If you want to be cool, use your zipper to use your tool."
Yes, this is apparently the #1 skill elementary school students-- particularly those with special needs-- need to be taught in the school district where I'm now embarassed to say I grew up. Not math; not reading; not even playground socialization skills. Potty preparedness.

The lecturer posed this question to the room: "If there are five urinals, and a man is already standing at 5, where do you go?"

My mom looked around at the other female teachers, not knowing what to say. If you're a woman, you've probably entered said bathroom in a pack of 5, and everyone will chat while they do their business. It's just how we women operate.

Finally, one of the three men in the room raised his hand. "The first urinal," he said. And, said the lecturer, he was right. But what about if urinal 1 and urinal 5 are already being used?

"Number 3," another one of the guys answered. Right again.

But what if 1, 3, and 5 are already occupied? Which urinal do you go to then? 2? 4?

NEITHER! According to this Ph.D. level lecturer (and the three other men in the room), you NEVER use a urinal when the two on either side of it are already being used. Then, you go into the stall.

Say what???

This made no sense to me, or to my mother. Why not just use the open urinal? It was a question we tried to dissect on our own, but eventually, we needed to turn to our resident "Man Rules" expert: our husbands.

My father-- sage man that he is-- refused to answer the question. He broke the top "Woman Rule" and stopped talking to her, retreating in silence to his man cave. My dad, it appears, does not kiss piss pee and tell.

DH, however, was more than happy to entertain my little question. He couldn't really explain to me WHY he adheres to this rule ("I just do, ok?"), but he did add to it, telling me that in the gym locker room, you also don't use a shower if the one immediately across from it already occupied. ("You've got to respect a guy's privacy, that's all," is what he said.)

I don't get it... why do men have urinals in the first place if they want privacy to pee? Why not just have all stalls, like in the women's restroom? I'm still trying to process it in my head.

Does your man have any rules-- spoken or unspoken-- that you just don't understand?

Earlier this month, I unveiled my plans for my very own Blog Birthday Bash. Now, the plans are coming together, and I wanted to share with ya'll the details-- and tell you how you can earn extra entries for all the giveaways before the big day week even begins!

As you can see, the party starts one week from today-- Monday, April 5th. That's when I'll start the giveaways with these beauties from Lulu by Leah.

Then on Tuesday (my actual birthday), we'll celebrate with 10 HOURS of giveaways. You heard right, TEN HOURS! I'll be giving away products from Kiss My Face, The Brush Guard, and Memory Minder. From 9am-7pm, I'll post a new giveaway with an opportunity to win every single hour!

Wednesday will feature another giveaway involving one of my favorite things (I'm starting to feel like Oprah-- "You get a car... and you get a car... and you get a car!"-- I WISH!). I'm a huge vino, not just for the taste, but for the style. And what is more sophisticated than a vintage topper for your bottle? That's exactly what's up for grabs for one of YOU!

Before we move too far past Oprah, on Thursday it's a special edition of Top 3 Thursday, with a giveaway direct from the pages of "O" Magazine. The folks at Leifheit will be giving one of you this amazing digital kitchen scale (no more excuses for overeating). And the best part? You get to choose which color you want (I'd go with the yellow, but that's just me).

And on Friday, we'll wrap up the week with a little leisure... in the form of a book! I'll be giving away a copy of "The Napkin, The Melon, And The Monkey"-- a book that's definitely inspired me to reevaluate I view not only my job, but my famil as well!

So how can YOU maximize your chances of winning?

<center><a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.com/" title="Blog Birthday Bash!"><img img style="WIDTH: 175px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 175px" src="http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af194/iamconfessing/birthdaybash.jpg"/></a></center>

GOOD LUCK!

This week's "Queen For The Week" needs no introduction...

Shell @ Things I Can't Say!


Shell is the originator of the phrase "Motherbitch", which is quickly sweeping over the blogosphere. She's also the mother of three adorable little boys-- one of whom is a little different from the rest. But, as always with Shell, different is good. Just a few weeks ago, Shell launched a new weekly feature (I participated in its debut), "Pour Your Heart Out" Wednesdays. Since then, she's inspired many of her readers to dish on the issues and topics that have been gnawing at them. But every day, Shell inspires me... not just because of her individual blog, or the awesome posts to the group blog we both write for, but because she is a truly wonderful person whom I'm lucky to call a friend!

So go, go NOW to Shell's blog and tell her I sent you!
Ladies, I wanted to let everyone know there will NOT be a Queen next week-- April 4th. Why? Because April 4th is Easter, and I plan not to post on that day in honor of our one TRUE King.

<a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.com/" title="Confessions from a Working Mom"><img src="http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn287/lifeafterbc/Elizabeth/Crowned.jpg" alt="Confessions from a Working Mom" /></a>

It's a giveaway... it's a coronation... it's recognition for your blog-diggity-awesomeness. Click here to read how it all began.

I'm back with my Friday Triple Dip of blogging goodness... And I've got a DOOZY for you!

by "Foursons"!
Dear Creepy Little Boy Who May Or May Not Grow Up To Become A Pedophile,

Nobody knows G is a cutie pie like her mama. That hair, those eyes, those chubby cheeks! She gets me every time. But unfortunately, last week, she got YOU as well.

I understand that you found her attractive. But also understand that, before you even TOUCHED her, I found you to be creepy. I've never before been skeezed out by a toddler. I didn't think it was possible. Then I saw you.

I'm not sure what it was, but you gave me the chills. Then you sidled up next to my daughter at the Children's Museum and gave her a little love tap. Well, your mother was standing right next to me and she went, "Awwww, how sweet," so I went, "Awww, how sweet." That was my first mistake. Then, you grabbed my precious G around the waist and gave her a big hug. Your mom turned to me and said, "He's used to lots of love and attention from his brother and sister." So I let it go. That was my second mistake.

There wouldn't be a third mistake.

Because the third time you tried to touch my daughter, my little 18-month-old spitfire turned around on you, pointed a chubby little finger in your 3-year-old face and shouted, "NO!" at the top of her lungs (as her mother, I can attest to the fact that she has quite a set of lungs on her). When you didn't listen to her, she sat down on the floor, and started screaming, "Go go go go GO!" I guess she told you, huh?

Honestly, I feel bad for you. It's not going to be easy to be the kid who is too touchy-feely, who creeps out his friends' moms, who gives people the willies. I want you to grow up, have a normal life, have friends. I just don't want my daughter to be anywhere near you when that happens.

G's Over-Protective, Admittedly-Helicopter-Mother,
Elizabeth

**************************************

I have an odd thing that I'm thankful for this week...

No, it's not that Duke's playing tonight in the Sweet 16...

No, it's not the fact that my birthday is less than two weeks away...

No, it's not that I've worn open-toed shoes three out of the last four days...

It's actually something I have
no right being happy about!

This week, I learned that I hadn't gotten a job I'd applied for with a non-profit in town. When I saw the listing about a month ago, I thought this would be the perfect job for me. Obviously, the people at this organization didn't feel that way.

I got an email saying that I wouldn't be advancing in the interview process, and I had a very visceral reaction-- a reaction which I was not expecting. I felt despressed. Despondant. But then you know what? I felt empowered. I felt strong. I felt guided.

Obviously, this was not the right path for me. I'm still not sure WHAT the right path is-- staying in the TV news industry? Moving on to non-profit work? PR or marketing? I can't say. I just know that God didn't want me at that job-- for one reason or another-- and that, when the time is right, he will lead me in the right direction.

So what am I thankful for this week? One word:

FAITH.
**************************************
And, in the spirit of trying new things (and plugging the "meme" catalogue we have up on my other site, Our Mommyhood), I'm going to try a new blog hop...


I had a massive "fail" this week...

The good old Hyundai Santa Fe celebrates its first anniversary with our family on Sunday (does anybody else remember the exact date they bought their car? I do... for BOTH our family vehicles). It hasn't had a single hiccup... until this week... when it literally started to feel like it was "hiccuping" as I drove it.

And why you ask was it hiccuping?

Because it was THREE MONTHS (and about 4,000 miles) past due for an oil change!

FAIL!
**************************************
If this is your first time to my blog, welcome! I hope you like what you see. Make sure to leave me a comment so I can repay the visit. And do check out my current giveaway-- a "PushAlong Duck" from ImagiPlay, built from all-natural materials! Lots of fun for your kids, and good for the environment, too. (Just click on the duck to enter!)

I have been married for almost five years. And I still have the tube of lipstick I wore on my wedding day...

...and I still use it, too.

<center><a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.com/" title="Top 3 Thursday"><img src="http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af194/iamconfessing/Top3Thursday.jpg"/></a></center>

This blog carnival is truly as easy as it sounds...

Each week, The (Un)Experienced Mom and I will pick a category, then ask you to share your Top 3 thoughts on it. We hope you'll play along with us!

This week, we want to know...

What are the Top 3 things you should have thrown away... like, yesterday?
I suppose I could say that the reason I have held on to that particular shade of Aveda lipstick is because it helps me remember the day that went by in the blink of an eye. But that would be a lie. I've held on to it because I haven't used it all up, and I refuse to throw it away until I do.

#3) That's not the only tube of lipstick that should be tossed. I also have a tube (ok, two of them, actually) that G stuck her pudgy little fingers into, turning my lip-"stick" into lip-"glop". But I just can't bare to toss them.

#2) An entire bottle of ultrasound gel left over from my pregnancy with G. After my first miscarriage, I was OBSESSED with hearing G's heartbeat at all hours of the day (and the night, much to DH's chagrin). He let me rent a fetal heartbeat monitor from a medical supply company for the duration of my pregnancy, and it came with a few bottles of the gel. I don't know why I keep that gel in my nightstand, as though I might need to whip it out at any time and smother the cold goopy substance onto my now-almost-flat belly, but I do!

And the thing I really need to throw away before I am featured on the TV show "Hoarders" is...

#1) One last, vile pregnancy test that's been part of a very un-scientific science project for the past two years. I took about a dozen pregnancy tests with G before I was convinced that I was, indeed, pregnant. I had completely forgotten that I'd stashed them all in a plastic bag under my bathroom sink until I was cleaning out those cabinets about a year ago. I threw all of the tests away... but one. I just couldn't stand to part with the first test that officially said, "You are going to be a mother" (actually, it just said "pregnant"). I'm not sure how much longer I will keep it around... maybe until the next time I find myself staring in awe at another positive pregnancy test!...

What are the Top 3 things you should have thrown away... like, yesterday?
Remember, only link up if you are posting about this on your OWN BLOG!

Did I ever tell ya'll G's first word? I mean, after "Da" (dad), "Dog", and "Coo" ("Cookie", the nickname my mother made up instead of grandma)?

DUCK.
It was pretty darn cute at first. But over the months, her obsession with these quacking little creatures has veered toward the dangerous. In fact, just a few weeks ago during a trip to the lake, it led her to run as fast as her two pudgy little legs would carry her down to the water's edge where a group of ducks were swimming. Poor G-- she was furious with her daddy (haha, I made him play "bad cop" for once!) when he picked her up and moved her away from the shore!

So G was especially thrilled when this little guy ended up at our doorstep earlier this month. "Quackers" (her name for the toy, not the company's) is a product of the folks at ImagiPlay. In addition to being as cute as a button duck, all their toys are also made from eco-friendly materials and are all-natural. They truly live up to their company motto, "Toys With Integrity"!

Now, you can bring one of these little guys home to share with your kids (but please, give it a more original name than "Quackers", will ya?).

Here's how to enter:
#1) Sign up to follow my blog (new or old followers) and leave me a comment saying you did so!

#2) You can also leave me a comment-- whether you're a follower or not-- telling me what your child's first non-mommy-daddy-doggy word was!

You must leave a separate comment for each entry, or it will not count!

This giveaway ends at 11:59pm EDT on Sunday, March 28th. I'll announce the winner during my giveaway-preview post for my Blog Birthday Bash on the 29th! And even if you don't win, you can still snag a pretty cool discount on any of ImagiPlay's amazing products. Just this the code below to get 20% off on your order now through March 31st:

integrity10
I was given a "Pushalong Duck" from ImagiPlay for the purpose of this review & giveaway. I was not compesated from the company in any other way. This giveaway is open only to U.S. & Canadian residents.

This post isn't what you think it is. While yes, I am an only child, and yes, I am insanely a wee bit spoiled by my parents, I am not financially dependent on them.

Well, not totally.

In fact, DH & I made it our mission to free ourselves from our parents financially as soon as we got married. Within a year of our wedding, we'd paid off DH's "engagement ring" loan to his parents, and were out of the parental red, so to speak. Since then, we've managed to maintain our financial independence...

With one...

little...

exception...


Ahhhh, yes, sweet Duke. My beloved alma mater (no Carolina jokes, you Tarholes; this is OUR March, I don't wanna hear it!). And, naturally, the source of a lot of debt.

A LOT of debt.

As in...

...$54,000...

...of debt.

Going to Duke was the best decision I've ever made. It led DH; it led me to some of the best friend's I've ever had; it's opened untold doors to me in the professional world. But it's also landed me severely in the hole.

When my parents allowed me to apply to Duke 11 years ago, they did so with a promise: that they would help me repay as much of my student loans as possible. And they have... until January...

Since my graduation, my parents have used an old bank account of mine to automatically pay my loans every month. Every month on the 19th, my parents make a deposit. Every month on the 5th, the lender automatically takes that money. But in January, my mother inexplicably forgot to make that desposit. She did the same in February. And my bank started charging me late fees. And overdraft fees. And fees just because they could.

If you've been following the TV headlines, you've probably heard that a new set of laws governing everything from overdraft fees to credit card interest rates just took effect last month. Unfortunately, those laws weren't in place as my bank account racked up more than $200 in fees and other charges. It wasn't until I got a collections letter-- my first ever collections letter-- that I even knew something was wrong.

It took three hours on the phone to explain the situation to the representative at the bank (he couldn't understand why I had an account that I didn't use, didn't monitor, didn't care about). It took another week to sort of who was owed what and when. And it took that whole experience for me to finally break the chain of financial independence.

Starting in April, I will assume financially responsibility for the rest of my student loans (now down to just $14K). I feel like it's my final rite of passage to adulthood. And I'm pretty darn excited about it...

...well, other than the part about having to actally pay that monthly bill from here on out!

I spotted this article that has loads of tips on making room to pay off your debts, which you might find useful if you're stuggling.

This is the man most people know as the cake boss... Buddy Valastro. My mom is currently inlovefatuated with his show on TLC.

I know many of us have had discussions about how I don't cook. Period. I burn popcorn, grilled cheese, and instant oatmeal. So how, you might be wondering, could I possibly be on the cusp over overtaking Buddy Valastro's cake-making mafia and becoming the "boss"?

Voila...

Yes, yes, hold your applause... I know it's the Palace of Pampers, the Lourve of Luvs, the House that Huggies built. But don't get your panties (haha, who would have known a post about diapers could be so punny?) in a twist. I had some help.

It's true. I cannot take sole credit for this modern-day temple to the potty-gods. DH took on the role of architect.

It took us one bottle of Johnson's & Johnson's baby wash (hidden in the middle), three tiers, four "beach" themed bath toys, roughly 65 size-one diapers, and.... oh, I don't know... about 287 minutes (no, I am not exaggerating; ok, maybe just a little) to create this colossus of cakes.

It was difficult work. I yelled at DH to roll the diapers tighter than a Cuban cigar. I berated myself when the second layer continued to topple over. I bled on three diapers when those tiny little rubber bands I used to secure the diapers cut me... they cut me deep (yes, I threw those bloodied diapers away).

Why, you ask, did we go to these extremes to construct our sand-castle themed diaper cake?

I'll be honest here: Vanity.

I will not mince words. DH & I wanted to have the best gift at our first-ever couples baby shower. We wanted to wow the crowd with our creation. A set of crib bedding? A cute onesie? Bottles? FIE! Our gift would put all others to shame.

And you know what?

It didn't.

There were TWO other diaper cakes there. Ours arrived last.

So much for vanity.

"Queen For The Week"!

This week's queen is...

El @ Chapter Twenty Something!


El is a 48 year old blogger... haha, no she isn't, she's a (d'oh!) TWENTY-something blogger. She's studying to be a kindergarten teacher (how cute is that?), but she's really looking forward to the day when she and her saint-of-a-boyfriend can settle down and become two of a kind, working on a full house... that is, if she can figure out how to tell her mom not to come on their trip! And when it comes to her blog-- why she blogs, what she blogs about, and what type of blogs she likes to read, this girl knows what she wants!

So go, go NOW to El's blog and tell her I sent you!
Ladies, I am currently putting the nomination process on hold. Ya'll have flooded me with enough nominations to last until MID-JUNE! I feel so bad telling nominees about the extra-long wait, so I am going to ask you to halt the nominations-- for now-- and I will start it back up in the spring once the wait isn't as long!

<a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.com/" title="Confessions from a Working Mom"><img src="http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn287/lifeafterbc/Elizabeth/Crowned.jpg" alt="Confessions from a Working Mom" /></a>

It's a giveaway... it's a coronation... it's recognition for your blog-diggity-awesomeness. Click here to read how it all began.

We all have them...

We all know about them...

But we don't always like to admit them...

<center><a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.com/" title="Top 3 Thursday"><img src="http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af194/iamconfessing/Top3Thursday.jpg"/></a></center>

This blog carnival is truly as easy as it sounds...

Each week, The (Un)Experienced Mom and I will pick a category, then ask you to share your Top 3 thoughts on it. We hope you'll play along with us!

This week, we want to know...

What are your Top 3 quirks?
I'm going to be the first to admit that I am an odd duck. I think a lot of time, I exhibit my nervous tendencies through physical neurosis. Well, for example...

#3) My obsession with my eyebrows. It's actually a condition called trichotillomania. I can actually remember the exact moment it began. I was a sophomore in high school, with very unruly eyebrows. A good friend (we'll just call her "C", since sometimes she-- and some of our other classmates from HS-- stop by and read my blog) asked me why I let them grow so bushy. Ever since, I took not to tweezing my brows but to individually plucking them... with my fingers. The more anxious I am, the more I do it. It drives my boss crazy, and she's always yelling at me to leave my brows alone.

#2) I like to pop my husband's pimples. I know, it's gross, but I'm sure I'm not the only one (even if I am the only one who will admit it). Don't worry, I'll take the heat for all of us when Scott and Doug lay into me! (I'm waiiiiiiiting!)

And my biggest quirk is...

#1) My "busy fingers". I think it was Margaret that I was emailing with about this last week (she provided the inspiration for this week's question!). I told her how I am so used to typing-- either for work, or for my blog-- that even when I am simply having a conversation, I tend to "type" it out with my fingers. DH thought it was really weird when we first met, but now he's gotten used to it. And I have to say, as strange a habit as it is, it's definitely helped my words-per-minute (91 WPM, baby!)

What are your Top 3 quirks?

Usually, I do my triple-dose of blog carnivals on Fridays. But guess what??? This Friday, I am blessedly, gloriously, miraculously...

OFF!!!

Can you tell I'm just a
teensy bit excited about it?

So, to make up for all the fun and excitement I'll be missing out on here in Bloggy-land on Friday (when I hope to stay as far away from my home computer as possible!), I am going to play along with three memes today.

The first item in this triple dip is my friend Shell's brand new blog carnival:

This is the first official week for Shell's new meme, so I wanted to show her my support (although she doesn't need it; Shell has one of the most loyal and dedicated groups of readers I've ever seen in blogging!). Shell is one of the "Our Mommyhood" team, so I think she's pretty darn special.

It's actually rather serendipitous that Shell announced this new meme on Sunday, because it was on Sunday that I saw something that literally stopped my heart... something that sent me reeling... something that reminded me why I believe in ghosts.

I saw not one...

...but two ex-boyfriends...

...in the same place...

...at the same time.

Shudder.

Oh, and to make matters worse? DH was with me.

Here's the story. I was at the ACC Men's Basketball tournament; Duke had just claimed their 9th ACC title in 12 years (take that, Carolina!). DH & I were inching our way closer to the court for the post-game trophy presentation when I saw him... let's call him "M"... standing in the third row. We locked eyes. Then, he turned away, and nudged the guy next to him. Guy #2 turns around and... are you kidding me?... it was "C", another guy I dated in college.

Now, I'm going to spare you the nitty gritty details, but I'll give you a brief synopsis of what went down with these two guys, and why I would run into them both at the same time. About a year before I met DH, I was on one of the frequent "breaks" my high school sweetheart (aka, G's Godfather) and I took while we were dating. During that break, I went to a frat party. At that frat party, I met "M". That same night, I met "C". I liked them both. I was young, I was naive (I was stupid), so I thought I could get away with dating them both.

And I did.

For exactly 9 days.

Then, one night, "M" invited me over to his room. I was excited to hang out with him away from the party scene, so I happily skipped my way over to his frat section. But when I knocked on the door, I got a shock. "C" answered the door. I blanked. What was going on? He opened it wider, and there was "M". Turns out, "C" and "M" were roommates (here's my question-- if they were roommates, how did it take them 9 days to figure out they were seeing the same girl?). They were also best friends.

You can probably figure out where that left me.

The next year, I met DH (funny enough, I met him at a party at that SAME FRATERNITY-- DH was not a brother, just a guest like myself), and "M" and "C" graduated. I hadn't seen them again until Sunday.

It's funny how seeing these "ghosts" from the past brought back all these feelings. And it made me realize that I hope-- I pray-- that G doesn't follow in my footsteps when it comes to men/boys/guys (in some cases, dirtbags). In this post, I said that I don't regret any of the choices I've made in my life, and I stand by that; those choices-- even the stupid ones-- made me who I am today.

But I do wish that I had treated myself with more respect, and had held myself to higher standards than I did during that 9-day period in college. I have to admit, even 8 years later, seeing "M" and "C" (and their wives, did I mention that?) made me realize what an idiot I'd made myself out to be.

And I hope G never makes those same mistakes, nor feels the way I did Sunday evening.

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Next on today's special Wednesday triple dip, it's...

A few weeks ago, I participated in Chief's "What I Meant To Say" Wednesday, and revealed this little snippet:



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
To the pregnant woman who stared down my talkative toddler in church this week:

She said: silent stare-down

I said: silent stare back

What I should have said: "Sweetheart, when are you due? Mid-May? Then let's see how you handle this situation in about two years. It is so obvious that you are an incredibly patient woman. Good luck, you're going to need it."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, as fate would have it, that same mother-to-be showed up in the row behind my family once again this weekend (I had a great Sunday <-- can you see my eyes rolling?). And once again, she glared, glared, glared at every wiggle and giggle G made. Then G threw her soft-bound "Bible For Children" over the pew, right at mother-to-be's feet. And you know what she did?

Do you KNOW what she did?

She picked it up. She handed it back to G. And she smiled.

I guess she won't be that badly off, after all.

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And finally, a little Wordless Wednesday from "Seven Clown Circus" and "5 Minutes For Mom" (because you all know I do wordless so well)...


I had to share this picture with you for two reasons (see? I told you I had problems being wordless).

First, because this is the face G makes when we ask her to smile. I am told by some of my friends who have older children that this smiling phase will last at least another 2-3 years.

And second, because can you see what is on G's tray? Besides the uneaten carrots and the uneaten glazed apples? It's a big glob of ketchup. That's right, in our house "K" is for ketchup, and right now it's G's favorite food.

Can I count it as a vegetable?

Sometimes, I feel like Tom Hanks...


Except instead of Seattle, I am simply Sleepless in the South...

And instead of being lonely and wanting for love like Hanks' character Sam Baldwin, I am just wanting for peace of mind (of is it piece of mind?).

NO I am not up late worrying about love.
NO I am not up late worrying about money.
NO I am not up late worrying about work.

I am up late worrying about this foolish girl:


Oh, I'm sorry, you haven't met?

Readers, meet Beatrice Lacey.
Beatrice Lacey, my faithful readers.
You see, "faithful" is a word Beatrice here doesn't know anything about.

Since we "met" a few weeks ago, she has lost her virginity at the age of 14 to a hired hand on her father's estate (then tried to kill him in a bear trap), committed countless acts of incest with her own brother (then tried to pass off his inbred children as someone elses), and seduced a wealthy doctor (then tried to have him committed so she could steal his fortune).

See? Miss Beatrice is NOT a nice girl.

But she plagues my dreams.

When I go to sleep each night, I can't shake the feeling that her worries, her fears, her sins are my own.

I guess you'd call that a very literal reading of the novel.
I want nothing more than to break up with Beatrice and her scandalous life...

...but I have never been able to stop a book once I start reading it.

So, I'll keep this post short (well, short for me); I have to go upstairs to my comfy bedroom and plod through the rest of this novel. I have to finish the book, so I can finsh my relationship with Beatrice once and for all.

Then, maybe I can finally get some sleep.

Only 86 pages to go...

What books have you been reading lately (a book for you OR your kids)? Share your recommendations!

It was a very difficult weekend in the "Confessions" household (yes, I have forced my entire family to take on the last name of my blog moniker; we've even changed our names with the Social Security Administration).

You see, roughly ten days ago, DH refused to cooperate when my beloved Duke Blue Devils traveled to hell College Park, Maryland to fear spear the turtle (aka, the University of Maryland Terrapins).

If you've read this post (and if you haven't, you should; it'll make you think of me in a whole new-- and not-so-flattering-- way), then you know I take my college basketball very VERY seriously. Back then, I talked about how my insanity fervor peaks in March, and if you've checked the calendar recently, you know we're in the midst of Madness. And you know what they say...

Beware the Ides of March!
This saying actually dates back to the time of Julius Caesar-- he was murdered by his friend, Brutus (Et tu, Brute?) on March 15 of the year 44 B.C.E.

Ok, my impromptu history lesson
is over. You can start reading again.

Combine the Ides of March with the month's inherent (albeit basketball-related) Madness, and you get one mom who isn't the easiest woman to live with.

When DH refused to heed my warnings (don't sit there! wait, don't stand up! it'll be bad luck if you drink that!) during the Duke/Maryland game-- and Duke lost-- I was furious. Obviously it was his fault my Blue Devils had a lackluster performance that night.

But when he tried to pull the same shenanigans during this past weekend's ACC tournament (when we were AT THE GAME!!!), I was beside myself.

Yes, I'm a woman who believes in superstitions. I believe that breaking a mirror will result in seven years bad luck. I believe that walking under a ladder, stepping on a crack in the sidewalk, or having a black cat cross your path are all terrible omens.

So yes, I do believe that if DH fails to wear his lucky socks (ok, the socks I've dubbed as lucky; DH is the least-superstitious person I know)-- unwashed-- during each and every NCAA tournament game over the next three weeks, then my Blue Devils are doomed to mediocrity. And I do not do well with mediocrity.

Are you superstitious?
If so, in what superstitions do you believe?

She's got a house full of princes to go with her royal crown...

"Queen For The Week"!

This week's queen is...

Lisa @ Oh Boy!


Lisa-- as you can probably tell by her button-- has not one, not two, but THREE boys; but it's this little cutie whom I am personally reserving to be G's boyfriend in about 18 years! Isn't he adorable? Like me, Lisa is a working mom who's had a taste of the "other" side-- and likes it! And while her blog is chalk full of amazing giveaways, product reviews, and household tips, it's also full of amazingly poignant stories... including one of the most honest, eye-opening tales I've ever read in the blogosphere.

So go, go NOW to Lisa's blog and tell her I sent you!
Ladies, I am currently putting the nomination process on hold. Ya'll have flooded me with enough nominations to last until MID-JUNE! I feel so bad telling nominees about the extra-long wait, so I am going to ask you to halt the nominations-- for now-- and I will start it back up in the spring once the wait isn't as long!

<a href="http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com/" title="Confessions from a Working Mom"><img src="http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn287/lifeafterbc/Elizabeth/Crowned.jpg" alt="Confessions from a Working Mom" /></a>

It's a giveaway... it's a coronation... it's recognition for your blog-diggity-awesomeness. Click here to read how it all began.