When I told y'all our big announcement about adding a little boy to our family (who will henceforth be referred to on this blog as "C"--yes, that is his initial; no, I am not revealing his actual name), I briefly discussed DH's sheer joy at having a son. I didn't get a chance to delve into my very complex emotions, though.
I thought from the start of this pregnancy that I was having a boy. But, I also thought G was a boy from day one, and obviously I was very wrong, so I (and everyone around me) took my gender prediction with a grain of salt. This pregnancy was so different, though. From how I'm carrying to what I'm craving to how I'm feeling, there is nothing similar between this time and last.
If I were being completely honest with myself--and with you--I would tell you that in my heart of hearts, I thought I wanted another girl. The main reason was because I knew what to expect; I'm (obviously) a girl, and I've (more or less) successfully parented a girl for the past 2+ years. I felt confident I could do it again.
But the moment I opened that card--and saw "BOY" circled (and the undisputable sonographic proof!)--I knew that a son was the perfect addition to our family.
Sure, it means that DH can do all things "male" with his son, something that I can already see is filling him with a strong fatherly sense of pride. But this "new man" in my life is giving me a new sense of purpose as well.
Now I can raise each of my children as true individuals; I secretly feared that with two girls, I would feel compelled to make everything absolutely equal. If I gave one a tutu for her first birthday, shouldn't the other get an equally special tutu on that special occasion as well? If one played volleyball, shouldn't the other? And what if one was better than the other; what about sibling rivalry? Now that I know I'll have one daughter and one son, I don't as worried about the level of competition between my children. I know gender isn't the only (or even the main) thing that makes a person unique, but in my mind, it will irrevocably help me remember that my two children are their own, special person who doesn't need to be compared to anyone else.
Now I can look forward to doing "boy" things too... I can see G on the sidelines in her cheerleader uniform, while C is on the field (DH hopes as a kicker, since he believes that kickers have the easier path to a college scholarship and the NFL). I can imagine me dragging C to all of G's dance recitals. I can see me dancing with him at his wedding... something I know I would have missed out on as the mother of only girls.
Now I can rest assured that when my children hit their teenage years, at least one of them will still love me. I'm sure the parents of teenagers are reading this and laughing, and thinking, "Haha, they'll both hate you when they're in high school!" Maybe so, but every boy I've ever met (well, every good boy) has had a soft spot for his mother. They seem to be the ones who still remember mom loves them in the midst of their teenage angst, while the daughters are screaming in their rooms because mom wouldn't let them wear a miniskirt on a late-night booty call date. And having two children, I'm sure they'll play off me and DH, just like I used to play my parents against one another. At least this way, the law of averages is in my favor; with two children (especially children of opposite genders), I'm more likely that someone will be on my side.
And now I can know--without a doubt--that our family is complete. DH & I will never wonder two, five, ten years down the road (like many of our family members are doing now) whether we should have another child to try for the gender we don't already have. We are done, and are very happy with that.
If you're the mother of only girls, what do you think you'd enjoy about having a boy?
I have 3 boys and one girl. I am pregnant with our 5th. I would have a boy a thousand times over. Boys are less drama. My boys 9,4, and 2 have all been much more loving and cuddly than my girl ever was. I am so thankful that we had a girl, don't get me wrong. I am thankful that I don't have to wonder if I will ever get my girl, but boys ARE JUST EASIER.
I love this post! To be honest, I'm fearful of having a boy. After having N, I'm not sure what I would do with a son! I KNOW how to be a girl and how to do girly things with my daughter(s), but what the heck do I do with a boy? I guess that's where Chris comes into the picture, huh? :) I love your perspective! And I'm mentally betting on what your little one's name will be ... can't wait to see if I'm right! ;)
Good morning! I know exactly how feel! I felt the same when I found out Trace was a boy. I worried so much that if I had 2 girls, one might not be good at dancing and the other would be. How would I deal with it without looking like a total loser mom, considering I own the dance studio?! You are absolutely right, the individuality of the boy vs girl is so special. Trace is already 100% different than his sister. I can't wait for the days when I'm hauling soccer balls and golf clubs (DH's sports of choice) in the back of the car while hanging Rory's dance costumes up in the back seat. There's such a joy to the dichotomy of having one of each gender. Trace is introducing me to a whole new world!
I have an only son, who is 6. My pregnancy itself was kindof icky, but the delivery was down right traumatic! Little Dude from the get go has been a million kids rolled into one. He made all his milestones early. He is the youngest in his class in 1st grade now, he is also the smallest. He reads at almost a 3rd grade level and accelerates in tae kwon do. He is everything I could have asked for. I feel safer caring for a son, it sounds silly, but I do. I feel I can better protect him. I would be an absolute basket case with a girl, not that I am not super (over) protective of LD, but childhood horror played in my head that happened to me and I worried they could happen if I had a girl. I had this freak out right up to the night before my ultrasound Feb 17th 2004. I dreamed of sitting on my couch cuddling my little son, saw how he looked and everything. I was calmer after, and not all to surprised when the tech announced it was a baby boy! Enjoy him, I know you will. You will ease into this just like you did with G. Not flawlessly, but better yet, with unfettered love. Congratulations again!
I missed the its a boy post..so belated congrats. Now let me say this I have one of each and there is something special between a mother and her son. I too have thought my daughter who is now nine months will hate me in her teen years but my son...he will always love me. Foolish considering I am a high school teacher and I know teenagers hate everyone (they really don't discriminate) Congrats and I look forward to reading about your journey with babies G and C
I am torn between if I'd want a second girl or a boy if we were to have another. Part of me thinks girl for the same reasons you did - already have items for girls, know what it means to be a mother of girls - but one of each would be fun!
The oldest of five kids, I never wanted any kids of my own. Then, one day I found out I was pregnant and I cried on the floor of my own pity party for 6 months. My husband thought I was nuts...truth be told, I was. Then, I had a beautiful and perfect baby girl and I knew there was a God. My daughter was so perfect (to me) I NEVER wanted a boy. I mean, how cold I relate to him the way I do a daughter? But then again I never thought I wanted kids either.
My son is uncomplicated and when he says he loves me I know he just does. His love for me is unconditional and pure. There is no drama and no aguing from him. I love my kids equally, but each of them is my favorite for different reasons. He is my favorite because there is no hidden agenda with him; what you see is what you get with a boy.
You are going to love your little boy - more so than you ever thought possible...trust me on this one ;-)