It looks like a nice neighborhood: kids playing in the grass, a young couple taking their newborn for a stroll, an elderly woman rocking on her back porch with a cup of tea.
But my neighborhood hides a dirty little secret-- it's on the wrong side of town.
I don't mean to do my neighborhood a disservice. After all, this is where DH & I chose to purchase our first home. It's where we brought our daughter home from the hospital. It's where we've sunk thousands (ok, tens of thousands) into upgrading our house.
And when I say it's on the wrong side of town, I don't mean to suggest that it's on the bad side of town (although, I will be the first to admit that it is perilously close to the ghetto; we're exactly 2.1 miles from a rough part of town... I know this because I've measured it on my car's odometer at least 50 times, as if the distance could change day to day).
I actually picked our current home from a website. I'd just been offered a job in a new state, and DH & I didn't have time to launch an extensive house-hunt. So, we did it remotely. We found a great realtor in our new town who gave us access to a really cool website, and I "house-shopped" online when I probably should have been working. Using this website, DH & I narrowed our search down to 10 houses, then drove 5 hours from our current town to our new city to make a final choice.
It was love at first sight. You know how some women cry when they try on their wedding dress for the first time? I cried when we pulled into the driveway for the first time. I just knew this was the house for us, and amazingly, DH agreed (OK, actually he didn't agree; he wanted a house on the other side of town... the right side of town... but it had a foundation problem, so it was out of the question).
But over the past couple of years, our lives have changed dramatically. While we both work at the same places (well, I do at least for now), our friends have really shifted since we welcomed G into our family. Most of our friends now live on the other side of town, meaning it's not out of the ordinary for me to drive 30 minutes each way to a play date. My two bestest friends live in an entirely different county. Planning a get together requires a lot of preparation and a whole lot of patience.
Sometimes, I wish I'd let DH have the house with the foundation problems on the "right" side of town. But what if I had?
Without that neighbor, I wouldn't have felt such a strong pull to listen to my biological clock...
Without that biological clock, I wouldn't have had my daughter when I did...
Without G, I wouldn't have felt the desire to leave my job...
Without the desire to leave my job, I wouldn't have the time to go on all these play dates in the first place...
Without all these play dates, I wouldn't realize how much I value my friends and yearn to live closer to them!
I know someday, I'll get my wish. Probably not any time soon... I don't think it would be a good idea to buy a house (A) in this economy or (B) at the same time that I'm leaving my job. But I'm already dreaming of the day that a trip to see my best friends will entail a walk down the street instead of a drive across town.
We moved in a similar situation--a rush after the Mrs. got hired with little time for househunting.
Our house has been great, but the Mrs. is not happy with the way the neighborhood is shaping up. A few bad neighbors even in a decent part of time can spoil the fun.
I know exactly what you mean! We bought our house thinking we would sell it soon and then move back east, but now it looks like we're stuck in Cincinnati for the long haul and I'm kicking myself for not buying in the neighborhood I wanted to live in. We're still planning to make a go at selling this winter, we'll see what happens.
Hope you're enjoying your new-found freedom!
Yup, everything happens for a reason! Whenever I get down about where I live, I remind myself of that and all is well again. ;)
That's definitely something good to hope for, but don't hold your breath either! We bought land 4 years ago that was basically across the street from our best friends, with big dreams that we'd all someday soon be living near each other and having tons of playdates. They've since moved out of that house and into an "entirely different county". Just saying - who's to say that soon after you DO move, that they would move away to somewhere else?
The drives definitely stink, I do them a lot too. But at least they are just a drive away that you can make in only 30 minutes one-way, and not a plane ride or entire day trip away! Just trying to look on the bright side (which I am sure is annoying haha).
Good friends are "worth" the drive and effort don't you think? :-)
You and me both! I love my house as well - don't get me wrong - but I wish it was more centrally located in Austin (by the campus, for a point of reference), as opposed to more North. Then again, the fact that I was able to buy this house on my own at 22 continues to be a testament of my own strength and self-sufficience (sp?), so I try to remind myself of that when I get down about it.
That being said, don't think I don't stalk real estate by campus.
I feel you on this one!! We bought this 4 bedroom across town because of the twins and I walk to many homes for play dates....but it would not matter as many of the moms around here have out of control kids so I end up driving to see my old crew...in the "bad end of the city!"
Things always look greener on the other side, trust me!
Good luck!
Haha I guess it is all a matter of perspective! We live a ways from the places we go and from work so 30 minutes is about the standard to go most places and it takes us 45 mins to get to work!
Welcome aboard the stay-at-home club! I made the same decision you did when my little one turned 12 months old.In fact not only did I quit my job but I also sold all my personal belongings and moved thousands of miles across the globe with hubby to be closer to his family. I love staying at home, over the past year I have seen my baby transition to a toddler. Here I constantly hear from other parents that the first 3 years of a child's life are the most important. But I hardly heard that in the States. I have two sisters who are full time working mommies. They find it stressful but due to financial constraints they have to continue working. So I say kudos to you for making this decision.
and just a word of advice, there will be times when you will need your 'alone' time so don't feel guilty..Its normal.!
sorry for babbling on..and taking up so much space on your comment section.