I don't have much time... she could be here in any moment. She's been monitoring my every move-- stalking me day and night. She's a small tyrant, my tiny captor. I've been cataloguing her various tactics...
1) She's been engaging in sleep deprivation torture. I'm sure she's trying to make me so exhausted, that I'll give up the location where DH & I stashed her binkies. Not gonna happen.
2) I'm not allowed to sing. AT. ALL. For that matter, I'm not allowed to dance, either... except for plies and arabesques; those, I am forced to perform over and over again, to the point of exhaustion.
3) I'm forced to cook for her-- every meal of every day-- and when she doesn't like it, she doesn't hesitate to throw the food back in my face and laugh.
4) I know Dick Cheney didn't have an issue with water boarding, and neither does she. During bathtime, she revels in drenching me. Even when I beg her to stop, she blatantly refuses, and tosses more water in my face. Girl, give it up-- I'm not telling you where those binkies are.
5) She makes me read the same books over and over and over. I have read "Blue's Clues: Hide 'n Seek" at least five times a day for the last 23 days... ever since we checked it out of the public library. When I tell her it's time to check Blue back in, I am met with a major toddler protest in the middle of the library's "quiet zone". I am cowed.
If you get this message, please send help. Preferrably in the form of a big, strong football player named Peyton Manning. Sending DH in is no use. He's being held hostage by this almost-two-year-old's vivacious attitude and cornflower blue eyes as well.
Parents: 0
In what way do your charming children hold you "captive"?
Cute. Well, N obviously isn't old enough to manipulate ... but, soon she will be. Her smile holds me captive. All she has to do is flash those gums and I'm a puddle on the floor. :)
hahaha! This post was so cute! My toddler does the same thing with me (or anyone for that matter) with the singing LOL. He doesnt know how to say "STOP" yet, so he puts his hand up and says "Bok!""Bok!"...I cant help but laugh my butt off. Ahh kids...I have a feeling were going to be their captive for a loooooong time!
Peyton to the rescue (we can only hope!) At least he looks good so far this year (we colts fans expect losses in the preseason, I think...)
:)
I am with you on this one.
The binky habit has not been completely broken and we have to keep changing the hiding place after the little curious boy finds it.
In refererence to your question, our youngest has an autism spectrum disorder so he likes to watch the same scene from a DVD 200 times in a row. When the scene is like 5 minutes long it is not too bad--I can go off and return to push the button. When the scene is 45 seconds long--I am nutcase.
Her curly blonde hair and infectious laugh get me every time. But I know what you mean about reading the same book over and over again. And I wish she'd stop freaking out about putting her pee and poo in the toilet. It brings her to tears. While the pediatrician said it's normal and she may not be quite ready yet, I am definitely ready. I do not want two in diapers.
Oh, I hear you on the no-singing-allowed thing. My daughter sings until she's practically hoarse each day, but if I dare open my mouth to join in for a single refrain of "Itsy Bitsy Spider," all hell breaks loose. (Which makes me sing even louder BWAH HA HA)
I feel ya! My nine month old is determined to get me off my laptop every day (I work from home). He comes up and grabs my legs and gives me this agonizing look, moans and cries until I am forced to pick him up. I can only do so much while he's napping. During the other time, I just try to distract, distract, distract. Our floor is covered in empty cans and cartons (he likes those better than toys). Good luck!
Did the binkie leave forever? Or are you just cutting back?
We haven't gotten rid of the binkie in our house (daughter just turned 2 years,) I am just happy I don't have another thumb sucker to break.
Mine holds me captive when she decides walking through the grocery store (which is always) is better than riding. OH and we are getting the free cookie right away instead of at the end, like Mommy said.
Adorable! Wow you're brave to stash the binkies! Ava is only 8 months, but geeeeez she loves her bink!
I am held captive by my inability to not leave A to CIO. I tried the other day, and I lasted two minutes before her fussing went to flat out pitiful sobs and crocodile tears. For the time being, looks like we're continuing to nurse to sleep. Yeah, I'm a sucker.
Good luck!
I had to read/sing a picture book version of "Old McDonald Had a Farm" six times this morning LOL, so I relate to this post ALOT!
My darling toddler is also holding my iPod hostage. Every time we get in the car, the iPod is only allowed to play HER music (Backyardigans, Elmo, Yo Gabba Gabba). I miss MY music...you know, adult music!
Thanks for the chuckle!
This is funny!! (Btw, hi I'm Tricia's friend hehe) Tricia and I both have babies the same age (off by one day) but I have to disagree - My almost 6 month old can manipulate with the best of 'em! When it's time for bed, we'll read him a book, half swaddle him, give him his woobie, kiss him, then lights out. Excpept he will fake cry about 5 times before he finally goes to sleep. How do I know it's fake? Well he'll shriek like a mad man and we run in like crazed maniacs to see a huge gummy grin on the little monster! omg! Oh, and he also holds me captive by crying every 3 hours at night for me to run and replace the binky back in his mouth. ::yawn:: I miss 8 STRAIGHT hours of sleep.
haha cute post!
I found a big glass-o-wine helped the most to break captivity...
This is a classic post!
Thanks for the laugh!