I am born in April.
For years, I've taken this fact for granted. I've taken for granted the fact that because of my birthday's proximity to Easter, I almost always got a long holiday weekend over which to celebrate. I've taken it for granted that Mother Nature tends to burst into bloom as I'm blowing out my birthday candles. But more than anything, I've taken it for granted that I've always been the right age.
What do I mean by that? Well, as an April baby, there was never any debate over when I should start kindergarten. I wasn't the first to get my learner's permit, nor the last. I had just as many friends turn 21 before me as after me. I was always perfectly placed in the middle.
I never realized how blissfully unaware I was of that fortunate position until I gave birth to a cusp baby. No, I don't mean she's on the cusp of the Zodiac-- she's squarely in the middle of Virgo. What I mean is, born on September 14th, she straddles the deadline for entry into kindergarten.
Even though we're only now coming up on G's second birthday, my mind is already busy planning ahead for her eventual entry into the school system (notice how I didn't say public school system; although both my husband and I are products of public schools, we have yet to decide if we'll send G to the public schools where we live). I am blessed to have a slew of friends who also gave birth to "cusp" babies; many of them are teachers. We've already had endless debates (good naturedly, of course) about our views on pushing a child ahead early or holding them back.
For G, I think the decision will be pretty clear-cut. Her birthday is exactly two weeks after the August 31st cut-off date for the local public school. Already, she is taller than many of her toddler friends, even those who are six months her senior. She's also mastered the alphabet (ok, mastered is probably too strong of a word, but at 23 months, she can identify all the letters and knows the sounds about 75% of them make). I don't want to take the risk that she will be the tallest, the smartest (gosh, I sound like the type of bragging-blog-mom I hate!), and the oldest. To me, that's a recipe for a social outcast. But many of my friends think that sending a still-4-year-old G to kindergarten is a recipe for disaster. They argue that she won't have the social skills necessary to thrive in that environment. I counter with the fact that G at 4 years, 11 months, and 2 weeks old is probably more mature than a boy at 5 years old.
I've got a plan (re: plans) to get G into kindergarten early, despite the cut-off date issue. One option is private preschool/kindergarten. My mother, a retired special education teacher, supports this idea, and has offered to pay for those two years of school (although, I should emphasize that my mom is a retired teacher, meaning she doesn't exactly have the liquid assets to make this a reality). Another option is moving to a school district like the one I grew up in, where the cut-off date is later in the school year (ie, Oct. 15th). And then, there's the most drastic option-- moving back to the actual school district I grew up in, living with my parents for a semester, and only moving back home once I can successfully transfer G into kindergarten here.
I'm sure all this planning and plotting-- especially three years in advance-- probably seems outrageous to some of you. I recognize that it is a tad extreme; it's not like she's enrolling into online PhD programs or something-- it is just kindergarten. But I also believe that if I don't give G every advantage now, she and I may end up regretting it later. After all, today it's kindergarten, tomorrow high school, and then who knows? Maybe an online PhD or another advanced degree.
And if you've been in my situation, what DID you do?
This is such a toughie and I can not wait to see what other mom's have to say on this. As you know my little E is only a few weeks older than G.. with her being Aug. 26 baby she will prob be the youngest in her class.. I am just not sure how I feel about that. I was an Aug. baby and I HATED being the youngest.. I did everything after everybody else.. and yea I got over it and now it doesnt matter at all .. but still I did not like it going through the school years. Also my besties little boy has an Oct. 4th bday and their cut off day is the 15th.. he has struggled from the very beginning... to the point now that he should be going in second grade and it has caught up with him. There were talks of holding him back swirling aruond all summer long. He was devestated and so was she. (I know the argument can be made that boys develop a little slower.. but still something to think about) So all of that to say I am in your same predicament and not sure how to handle it at all!!
Pass on all your wonderful advice ;)
i have two cusp babies
our cut off is sept 15th
i have a sept 21st-er heading to kindergarten this year (she was totally ready last year also)
my youngest is sept 18th
i am just going with the cut off, glad i don't have to decide
though i'm nervous that they will be the first to have their license--that's about it
the pro's are--i get to keep my babies home with me an extra year longer (good now--maybe not in the teen years :)
they will be more mature and better able to handle the pressures that school presents through the years
they get to be a kid one year longer---cause that's a pretty short lived stint--and i hate pushing kids to do so much so fast-they have their whole lives to learn--let them play and discover and explore
that said--i was a june baby and second youngest in my class
it sucked being the last to hit certain ages...but i did well and wasn't ruined by being young
i think with some kids, it's clear if they are ready...but even if they are ready...they will just be more ready the next year if you wait
the older kids in our class were never made fun of--age wasn't really an issue most of the time--we were all just kids having fun
if you want my opinion--i would just wait
seems like a whole lot of hoop-la just to get her in kindergarten early---i don't believe there is any research showing how much better children turn out if pushed to learn at an earlier age...in fact--like i said--i rather like to let them be kids as long as they can--they grow up entirely too quickly already
so i say just relax and let it be
but that's just my 2 cents :)
Right now, there's a trend to send kids late to school, arguing that it gives them more time to mature, to be able to be the tallest, most athletic, etc- already planning for making varisity freshman year of high school.
So, if you have all these kids who start LATE and then you start your daughter early, she'll really be the youngest, by far.
I don't think I'd go to drastic measures to send her early- having to move or pay for private seems extreme.
Though, if you decide you feel strongly about it, go for it. Keep in mind, though, that while she might seem taller or further ahead of kids her age now, kids make such huge leaps in their toddler/preschool years and while there are kids that seem ahead/behind at this age, most even out by the time they are ready for school.
There's my book on the subject. LOL
I was the oldest in my class because the school district in the town I grew up in had a cutoff date of August 1. My birthday was August 19. I was definitely ready for school the year before and my mom wishes now she had challenged it. You know, you most likely don't have to do anything as drastic as you're planning. :) Most school districts will allow you to challenge it and the kiddos are tested on (I don't know what, I haven't done that much research.) various subjects. I'm actually thinking of entering my daughter early as well. She's a November baby so it's quite a bit later but I know she's smart enough.
Also, the two weeks for your daughter is basically nothing. Two weeks is not going to make or break her social skills at her age. You should definitely go for it if you feel it's right for her!
We have two "cusp" kids--we sent our oldest early b/c he is super smart and we knew he'd be bored otherwise. We waited on our other son and it has been great--he is the oldest and a little bigger but it has worked out fine.
Advice given to us that I will share with you: Consider high school and college? Do you want your child to be the youngest at graduation parties and in the dorm? I went to college when I was 17 and now that I'm a Mom I can't even imagine the stress that put on my own parents!!
Good luck with your decision...
It's never to early to think about stuff like this. Little Dude turned 5, 3 weeks before school started this past year. The mothers around here hold the kids back so they are 6, and better made for playing football. I. Am. So. Not. Into. That. Fine boys are not as mature as girls at this age, but honestly, are they EVER? Little Dude is a lot like G, he is ahead of the ball. He knew his ABC, and up to 20 before he was 2. Shortly after 2 he was fully potty trained, his choice, and could tell you all of the planets in order. His old Pied told us at 3 he was competent to go to school at 4 if I could find a school to allow him. Around here we couldn't. He went to "Kindergarten preschool" ages three and four. Mothers around here couldn't believe I wanted to put him in right as he turned 5. He entered Kindergarten the smallest in the class, and the youngest in the school. He is squirmy, but so are the 7 year olds in his class that got held back as 6yo. The state made it so anyone after June 30th and not 5 are now unable to go to Kindergarten, glad we missed that legislation! Making a long story short, he thrived, and was the only boy in Kindergarten to be in the accelerated reading program. You will know when the time comes what to do with G. Don't let others steer you away from what you know your lil'G can do. I know you will do whatever it takes!
My brother was a cusp kid, and he went early. It was for sure the best choice for him. I think you know your kid, so if you think she can go early, it's probably a good decision. My brother was 17 for the first couple of months of college, and he had to get a permission slip for a field trip. I had to tease him a bit. :)
Oh man, good luck with this one. My mom's birthday is August 26th and she HATED that her mom went ahead and sent her because she was the youngest in everything. Even though she was smart and mature, my mom said around middle school and high school it really made it tough for her (elementary school was fine except she pointed out that it's sometimes embarrassing for a kid to bring in birthday treats or have the teacher point out his/her birthday and then classmates realize he/she is the youngest. But she said it really stunk when her friends were all starting to drive and later to drink (not together, and this was when the drinking age was 18).
So it only made sense that my mom held my sister back (my sister's birthday is Sept. 15). My sister has loved it. She thrived all through school and loved being the first of her friends to drive, vote, and turn 21 (well, she turns 21 this year). My cousin is 6 weeks older than my sister with an end of July birthday. My aunt went ahead and sent her. Again, intelligence and maturity wise, she was fine. But she was frustrated that she couldn't start a summer job where her friends all worked because she wasn't old enough and that she started driving later than all of them. For whatever reason, my aunt held her younger brother back and started him when he would be among the oldest in his class.
Tough call, but ultimately your call. You know your daughter and what's best for her. Like you, I'm an April girl and my kids are February and December (provided he doesn't come weeks early or something). So there's no debate here. Good luck.
It entirely depends on the child you will know if she is ready for that nudge ....Tyler is a december baby nut he is way ahead of all of the kids I wish we could skip ahead but I think we will not try to make this push until middle school...what ever you choose just make sure it feels right and you will know
Wow, the cut-off in our area is Nov. 30--so your daughter would get into K at 4, no problem. My youngest sister had a Nov. 28 bday and being the 4th child--was very ready for school (it was just a half day program at that time). For the most part, she hasn't minded always being young.
My oldest daughter misses the cut-off my 2 months and I couldn't wait to send her to school. She has a very active mind and loves to be intellectually challenged and have a lot of interaction. Luckily I found a free pre-K program from Jan-June the year before Kindergarten that was specifically for kids missing the cut-off. It was so good for her!
She's going into 1st grade in September. So not only is she going to almost always be the oldest in her class she is pretty big for her age too. But she seems to roll with it ok as we didn't have much of a choice.
I think so much of it depends on the child. I DON'T think it's worth disrupting your entire family dynamic, living situation etc. But, if you can do the private school thing and get her started early, it might be good for her.
Good luck!
My birthday is 9/5, and I was younger than everyone in my class since my mom put me in at 4 years old. I have always been mature for my age and would have been miserable with kids younger than the grade I was in. I definitely think that you wil know what to do when she gets closer to 4. I didn't love being younger than everyone, but I definitely preferred it to being older.
You know, I totally stressed last fall when I was thinking about this... Our public AND private schools hold a firm Sep. 1st cutoff date. And I was totally freaking out about how J will be a year older than I was when he graduates, until I did the math.
He won't. He'll just turn 18 earlier in the school year. So DH & I are choosing to wait until he is 4 to enter him into the Catholic preschool program, which will pretty much put him with his classmates until he is 13.
I'm not sure we'll do the Catholic High School, as our public one is pretty strong, but it really depends on how he does.
I do have to say, that we've seen a ton of growth with J after having been through pre-pre-school that Daycare holds.
I have 2 children that were born in October - they really benefited from the extra year that they were forced to take. But they are boys - and I have heard from every school, teacher and parent that I have talked to that says they really need that year for maturity sake. I did start them in pre-k though- they each got 2 years of it at a private christian school. It's really tough - because you want to do what's right for your child and I hope that you are able to no matter when her birthday is. :)
I'm 100% with you on this one. I'm a May baby, and so I was in the middle also, but then skipped first grade after I tested way ahead in reading comprehension, etc. While I would never skip A ahead, seeing as how I was always kind of ridiculed for being "the smart kid", it was more to do with my love of learning than my age. I always felt I fit in maturity-wise.
A is a December baby, and already I'm dreading her being older than the other kids. If I was in your shoes with a kiddo that close to the cusp, I'd be fighting tooth and nail to get her in early.
And no, it's not too soon to be thinking about it. We've been zoned into a crappy school district, and I've already emailed the superintendent regarding how to switch into a better district. A's seven months old. Hahaha.
I'd find a way to start her early. I'm a September 4th baby, and I was always the youngest in my class. I never thought it was that big of a deal until graduation night, when all of my 18-year-old friends went out and I couldn't go. Other than that, I'm glad my parents started me early. I feel like I graduated college with an extra year to get my footing, if that makes any sense.
While I haven't thought about this yet quite as much as you, it's still already on my own mind, and my son's not even a year old yet, so I get why you're already thinking about this, and I applaud you for it. I don't think it's "bad" in any way that you are already thinking ahead, but rather a wonderful accolade to your parenting. That's a tough call to make, wish I had some insight. I guess we'll be in the same boat/have the same issue if we're in a school district with the Oct. 15th deadline...being he was born the 23rd. We definitely, definitely want and hope to put our son in private school. Around here the public schools just aren't that great. But we'll see...money may prevent our dreams. That's amazing your Mom offered to pay!