This post isn't what you think it is. While yes, I am an only child, and yes, I am insanely a wee bit spoiled by my parents, I am not financially dependent on them.
Well, not totally.
In fact, DH & I made it our mission to free ourselves from our parents financially as soon as we got married. Within a year of our wedding, we'd paid off DH's "engagement ring" loan to his parents, and were out of the parental red, so to speak. Since then, we've managed to maintain our financial independence...
With one...
little...
exception...
Ahhhh, yes, sweet Duke. My beloved alma mater (no Carolina jokes, you Tarholes; this is OUR March, I don't wanna hear it!). And, naturally, the source of a lot of debt.
A LOT of debt.
As in...
...of debt.
Going to Duke was the best decision I've ever made. It led DH; it led me to some of the best friend's I've ever had; it's opened untold doors to me in the professional world. But it's also landed me severely in the hole.When my parents allowed me to apply to Duke 11 years ago, they did so with a promise: that they would help me repay as much of my student loans as possible. And they have... until January...
Since my graduation, my parents have used an old bank account of mine to automatically pay my loans every month. Every month on the 19th, my parents make a deposit. Every month on the 5th, the lender automatically takes that money. But in January, my mother inexplicably forgot to make that desposit. She did the same in February. And my bank started charging me late fees. And overdraft fees. And fees just because they could.
If you've been following the TV headlines, you've probably heard that a new set of laws governing everything from overdraft fees to credit card interest rates just took effect last month. Unfortunately, those laws weren't in place as my bank account racked up more than $200 in fees and other charges. It wasn't until I got a collections letter-- my first ever collections letter-- that I even knew something was wrong.
It took three hours on the phone to explain the situation to the representative at the bank (he couldn't understand why I had an account that I didn't use, didn't monitor, didn't care about). It took another week to sort of who was owed what and when. And it took that whole experience for me to finally break the chain of financial independence.
Starting in April, I will assume financially responsibility for the rest of my student loans (now down to just $14K). I feel like it's my final rite of passage to adulthood. And I'm pretty darn excited about it...
...well, other than the part about having to actally pay that monthly bill from here on out!
I spotted this article that has loads of tips on making room to pay off your debts, which you might find useful if you're stuggling.
Oh wow - hearing you talk about that debt kills me. I have on that will be starting college in a year. She wants to go to the big university.... which means alot of debt. I hope and pray I will be able to help her with it.
Thank you, God, for my 2 years at community college that were all-expense paid! =) My loan is about 6K. Which is still a pain in the butt.
YIKES!!!!
I guess we all live and learn. Thank God my son who will be 14 in July wants to be a Fire Fighter so a 2 year degree at a CC and his fire training will be all he needs......YIPPPEEEEE!!!!
Wishing you luck!
wowzer!!! that's nutso
and now since my beloved Jayhawks have broken my heart I GUESS I WILL cheer for Duke
Blah!! Bills stink. But being free of debt sounds awesome. I hope you reach that goal sooner then soon.
We're trying too. No school bills but bills all the same.
similar story: I got a call from verizon telling me that they needed to speak to my dad...when I was in PA and he was in FL. Then I got an email saying they were going to cut my phone off because the bill hadn't been paid, in THREE MONTHS! I called my dad and was like "um, you should probably call verizon"...why? because they were going to shut off ALL our phones. My dad forgot to change his online banking when we changed the plans :) oops!
I'm still in the pre-marriage semi-independent stage of my financial situation, but I'm determined to be independent soon! :)
I was lucky and my parents helped out a lot with my loans as well and I went to another ACC University, Maryland. My husband wasn't so lucky and we paid off his student loans with money we got from our wedding. Student loans are evil and I am glad that we started a college fund for Cecilia. I just hope she chooses the right ACC school and not Duke or UNC. :)
I was lucky too and my parents helped me out until 2005 (I graduated in 2001) I was grateful for their help but it did feel better when it was all on me :)
I still feel bad for the money my parents spent on college that I didn't complete. *hangs head in shame* I am SUPER thankful that The Husband's parents paid his college in full, along with scholarships and whatnot. Now we're just trying to raise two brainiacs who will get scholarships also! ;-)
Student loans can suck it!
I have been paying mine alone and I feel like I will never be free of them. I try not to think about them too much, and always pay them on time. I am sure I will be paying them for decades.
I LOATHE STUDENT LOANS!
I've been paying mine off for ever and ever and ever and ever.. It seems like a never ending battle...*sigh*
I went to college on a debate scholarship and my parents paid whatever that didn't cover, so I didn't really know about student loans until I got married. That was a fun wake up call. Thankfully, they're paid now. Not fun...I hope you're free of them soon!
ugh, what an awful surprise and i'm sure a terrible 3 hour phone call
i'm glad you got it all squared away and your parents were able to get $40k chunked off for you!
i also hate student loans...it's a bill i feel will never go away, seems i've been paying forever on the dang thing and i still have about $7k to go
it's all worth it though (right?) :)
ps--i consider myself very financially responsible but i almost had our electricity shut off a month or so ago.
when we put in our geothermal we ended up with two seperate electric bills...only i didn't realize that and paid the one faithfully til one month i saw a teeny little flyer in with the bill about power being shut off...i thought, hmm, that is strange that they include that routinely (you know all those junk inserts)...since i actually had time that day i started comparing our electric usage pre and post geo and a couple pages in found the second bill that was super high because of late fees.
i was shocked
horrified
i called the company and explained the situation--that was friday and monday my power was going off...no call no nothing even though i faithfully paid my regular bill
i was so irritated...
sorry--stole your glory for a tangent of my own
You would think the bank would have possibly called someone....But they suck and such ...Also I hear you about debt every single friend I have is paying a ton of student loans...I just quit after I got an Associates degree...(wish I hadn't) but the scholarships ran out and my poor farmer parants had no money for me...No biggy though I love what I do...and 14K well thats not bad you will make it just fine and think someday G will need you to pay like 10 times that for her school...Thats what scares me is paying for buggy's college.
Student Loans suck big suck! I am just now finishing my higher education so I will be like 50 when I finish paying it off...haha crap 50!
I think banks, businesses, the IRS(yikes) all just love to charge all these fees before trying to hunt you down...its kinda scary!
That's really nice of your parents to do that. I paid for my own. Luckily, I've never taken a student loan, it's always been whatever I am able to save up for that semester. So, when I graduate (if I do), I will owe NOTHING! :)
I.hear.you.
I am down to $9,000 on my student loan. Which I started out 10 years ago at $25,000. Which my sweet husband has mostly paid for. Because he says he got me at a steal.
Which is sort of sweet. Or sad.
Creditors, late fees, interest charges, collection notices, the sounds of my second husband after divorce - with a nice little house foreclosure and car repo thrown in for good measure. CHING!
I think I am holding my ears, rocking in a corner, chanting something right now.
But GOOD for you! Way to take control. I bet your parents really appreciate it and are so PROUD of the daughter they raised.
:-)
And how SWEET is SWEET 16! WOOT!!!
Doesn't it stink to have to waste so much time on the phone explaining situations? I hate when the cell phone company does something wrong or the satellite company forgets which plan we're on and overcharges us.
I was fortunate my parents helped me out A LOT for Miami so I only came out with a student loan of $16,000 which I was able to refinance at 1.5% interest. Making the monthly payment has always been annoying...but we're almost done...I guess then it'll be time to start saving for Cate's college...who knows how expensive it'll be by the time Cate and G hit school.
Ugh, I hate student loans. The first two tax refunds Hubby and I ever got, went to paying off my student loan. I really try not to borrow money from my Parents. I've only had to do it once...and that was like 3 years ago. It's not that they wouldn't gladly help me out...it's just...until you get money paid back to the person you borrow it from, it's like there's a big dark cloud of debt hanging over your head. A nagging voice reminding you constantly that you owe someone money, whether it be parents or the bank. Ugh. I hate that.
you kind of threw me with the "kind of excited about it" part...but I get it. Even though it sucks to pay it...when it's done, imagine the feeling of accomplishment!!
Ugh. I'm in such serious student loan debt - my parents didn't pay a cent. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. I'm currently debating if I should pay more on mine or start a Texas Tomorrow Fund for Ava to prepay hers based on today's rates.
At least you parents fronted some money. My mother took out a loan for my schooling and NEVER paid on it. I was in your situation too, but in school. She did no research and it was a mess! I think it's cool you are just taking it on and getting it gone. It is a heck of a rite of passage, but I think even though it is another bill, you are pretty much free of Mom and Dad monies now. This way Gawd forbid something were to happen you wouldn't feel (as) bad about asking for help. Kudos to you!
~Krimsin
Wow - it sucks you had to deal with that situation but you are so lucky that they helped you with that much! My parents never had money and still don't so I've had to do everything myself. Being in debt sucks!
I think it is great that you are taking it on. I still am paying off my student loans or I should say my hubby is. Almost done...
Oh how I miss Bank of Dad... He closed on my wedding day. And is it wrong/ungrateful for me to say - I'm bummed Bank of Grandpa is not nearly as generous as Bank of Dad was? Then again, my Mom was signing checks for BoD vs. Dad actually signs BoG checks.
Glad you got it worked out so easily and that you have such a small portion left to pay now.
But I have to ask - do you have a plan set up for G yet?
wow, nice that your parents took it on for so long. i have school loans (i'm under $10K now!!!) but my parents took out "parent loans" that they are still paying off. in fact, they had 3 kids in college at the same time. and the youngest is still finishing grad school.
you're almost there! I, too, can't wait to get that monkey off my back!
Sorry for the 3 hour bank call and the headaches! How can the bank spend so much time on that!!! Glad it is all resolved now though. :) Here's to financial freedom!
My son is only two, but I already think we are behind on saving for him! Bar mitzva, college, wedding, trip around the world - it all adds up!
Debt sucks, but the nice part is when you're done and you suddenly have this sum that you DON'T have to pay every month... oooh... all that money, what to do with it ;)
I have pretty hefty college debt as well. Ugh. I swear, I'll probably FINALLY pay it off once the boys start college...and then we'll be paying again. I think I might be sick thinking about that.
Yes, I will give you an extra entry if you post it on ourmommyhood.com
Thanks for stopping by and for the shout out....good luck!!!!
Well good for you for figuring it out and taking it on going forward.
And if it makes you feel any better, when my husband came out of school, we had...you ready...$178,000 in student loans. And yes, we are still very much paying that off.
Feel better?
That was super nice of your parents!! I would have died getting a collection letter.
Once I got a call from a collection agency asking me to go over to my NEIGHBOR'S house (not my folks) and tell them to make their house payment.
I said I was calling the attorney general and i hung up. I was so embarassed for those people and never told them.
I have to wonder if my student loan will be paid off by the time my boys head off to college...
Okay, and I just have to tell you that I now have to type "turds" to get past your word verification. LOL
Thanks for entering the glass bowl giveaway!
and...
"Oh, and I'm adding your listing to http://ourmommyhood.com... do I get an extra entry for that?"
yes, i have you down for two entries! :0
Gotta love those awesome school loans! My husband and I both have them, and will probably be paying them off for many years to come.. no fun!
I'm still working on my and Sunshine's Masters degree loans... those are way higher, but at least the interest is low. I think we will be done with those right about when my 9 year old has to go to college.
My dad made the same promise to me about my UF debt. He paid it every month until he passed...now I pay it. I always felt like it was my responsibility to pay it but it really made him so happy. One of his most proud moments was seeing me graduate.(He died when I was pregnant)
Kuddos to you!! But yes the extra monthly bill kinda stinks :)
I'm going for DUKE all the way to April!!! Especially since my Gators sucked it up last week.
Ooooh . . . bummer! That's a lot of cash! :)
Thanks for your visit. To answer your question, the child crying in the picture is not the one who turns 3 today. The crying one is my youngest who is 1 1/2. :)
Nice to meet you!
Wow, your parents paid a lot of that debt down! I've always paid my student loan fees, and I dislike it. Greatly.
Dang, that's so awesome that they were paying up to this point! You have some rad parents! :)
First problem is you went to DUKE......puke..
I see you like to place blame.. You blame DH for Duke losing and you will be blaming him again, when his Bracket beats yours. HAHA
But you are beating my Bracket, so I laugh in silence
Love your blog. I am passing on the Sunshine award to you.
Wow! Good for you for getting the debt paid down though.
You have not failed to make me smile yet! I am still not out from under the parental financial umbrella, but it's not a bad thing. When we upgraded from my little Mazda3 that I loved to the SUV for the kid-let, we slod the Mazda, put the money towards the SUV and my parents paid the rest. Now, every month they get a check and we have an interest free loan. Can't beat the interest free loan. Only 4800 to go. But, it will be nice when it's paid off.
I went to Georgetown and my dad paid for most of it, but I still have a 4k loan I'm slowly paying off ever since he and I were estranged a few years ago. In a way that was my passage. Good luck to you as you take on this new responsibility!
Crap, that's a lot of Vah J-J Visors to sell E. Get to it!
I hear you. My daughter is finished school, but my son is still in. They both have student loans. We help as much as possible, but it is difficult for everyone. Good for you for stepping up.
Every time I read you I sewar it gets more and more like the whole twin thing- No I am not s weird stalker- but yea, I am an oly shild too and I sooo get what you mean (hey, you gonn pour your heart out otmorrow with Shell you'll see what I'm talking about) anyway ... I'm rambeling- BUT, my mom is flyin out here in two day and I am sooo looking sorard to her paying for groceies, piano lessons, wine, etc. while she is her ;-)
OMG I type waaayyy too fast- WOW there are some serious errrrrors in that last comment! YIKES.
Oh I can relate. My husband has student loans. His parents are still paying them off. But every so often they forget.
But I do not want to take those on. Happy to just have the husband remind them.
I have to make the student loan payment EVERY month and it is a killer!! My husband is in school now getting his RN, so then we will move on to his too! After that it will be time for the kids to go off to college! LOL!
Student loans are awful. I am sure that will be a great day when you can talk about the debt in past tense.
Duke has a super team this year and has as good of an opportunity to win as anyone else still playing.
Good Luck. I still have a student loan I am paying on but it is down to about $2500.00. Yeah!!!!
I have to admit that paying off debts and being able to shop guilt free is worth all the headache and sacrifices made to get there. I love the way you made a post about debt so interesting it captivated your audience.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today!
ooh wow thats a lot of money. i dont even want to think about how big of a loan im going to be taking out this year =/ hearing that you paid it off gives me hope lol! oh and since my boyfriend only lets us watch ESPN, i'll root for your team next time i see their on ;)
I'm sitting at about $19,000, but I don't even think about it much because that part just comes right out every month. It's one of the bills that hurts the least, maybe because I know getting there meant the most!
Debt...it's worth it, but it sucks. Just before getting married, I forked over the remaining payments for my grad school experience...which was in Chicago, and while my interniship paid for my schooling, it didn't pay for my Chicago experience... awww, the joy of student loans. Never regreted, but still hard.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Oh the debt. I won't even tell you how much student loan debt we have here for my husband. Yowza. Insanity. Best of luck and what a nice dad you have who was paying it for you!
BARF, I understand all too well :)
Good luck! You can do it! I still don't like anwering my phone or door after having bill collectors come when we lost our business. Anytime I have to talk to someone about credit cards, bills etc. I SWEAT like a pig and am immediately in a BAD mood!
Dang...your a very popular blog! Good job!
I live in NC right now.....I say right now, because we are military and will be moving out to CA by the end of the year.
Love your blog!
Visiting/now a follower from SITS:)
Well good for you!
Oh, and I worked for Bank One when I was 23...there was a man who came in with his paycheck to deposit it. The tellers sent him over to me because he had $800.00 in overdrafts. Ridiculous! That more than ate up his entire check. I reversed the fees...took a minor butt chewing from the bank manager, but felt good about it anyway.
This is the thing that strikes terror into my heart with 3 kids. College is so expensive, yet it is so necessary. First born is only looking at private colleges - ouch! I guess I'll know the bottom line about this time next year.