As my good friend Shell likes to say, I'm double triple-dipping with my Favorite Friday Features!
And you should visit my new friend,
Crystal's, new Friday Feature. It's all about
recognizing bloggers like YOU!
Moving right on to...
My theme for this week's frags is: "The things I never thought I'd have to say... until I became a mom" (I could write a post about each and every one):
-Don't put the meatballs into your eye. Please don't put meatballs in your ear. How am I going to get that out of your hair?
-Don't lick the bottom of your shoes. They have been on the floor of the grocery store (and we shop at Walmart) today!
-Why are you smelling my socks? My dirty socks?
-Please don't wear your training potty as a hat. (At least we haven't gotten her to use it for the right purpose yet, so it's clean.)
-Ducky is not your personal chauffeur. Please, G, quit riding the dog like you're in a parade!
Time for...
by "Foursons"!
To the work cleaning crew, who insists on cleaning the only two women's bathrooms in the entire building at the exact same time,
I understand that it is your job to clean the restrooms. And I will overlook the fact that I have found myself in the bathroom twice in the last month without any toilet paper to be found and forced to-- ah-- well, you know. I will even overlook the fact that the light in the ladies' room (the only one over the vanity) was out for the past week, leaving me to touch up my make-up in the dark (and leaving me looking like a Joan Rivers wannabe).
But I have to ask you-- BEG YOU-- to quit cleaning the only two ladies' rooms in the entire building at the exact same time of day, at the exact time I ALWAYS have to use it! I don't know if this is a C-O-N-spiracy, but it is impossible for me to sit in the control room and make sure the 5pm news goes smoothly while I am holding it in for dear life.
I thought we'd bonded over our mutual affection for the Indianapolis Colts. I guess I was wrong.
Signed,
The Girl Who DID NOT Use The Men's Room Last Tuesday
And finally, I needed a good dose of reality this week, and I'm getting that courtesy of...
I just wanted to use this opportunity to thank the amazing co-worker who has been letting me bend his ear about everything this week. He doesn't read my blog, but he can read my mind; I'm excited to celebrate with him and his wife this weekend at their baby shower (for their first!).
Oh, and this man was most definitely NOT the man who guarded the door for me as I used the men's room at work. It was NOT him. Scout's honor.
If you're new to my blog, welcome! I hope you like what you see. Leave a comment and let me know you stopped by so I can repay the visit. And don't forget to enter my latest giveaway-- a keepsake/hand-me-down journal from Avon. You can enter on my friend Missy's blog too and double your chances!
This entry was posted
on Friday, February 26, 2010
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That is awesome that you have a friend at work who would watch your back...or at least watch the door.
Really? She wants to lick the bottom of her shoe? It sounds icky, but I am sure I probably did something like that when I was young.
Although I have no children, I read the NY Times Motherlode blog religiously and they did a "Parents Say the Darndest Things" feature! http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/19/parents-say-the-darndest-things/?scp=2&sq=motherlode&st=cse
LOL - I always laugh at the things I have to tell my kids NOT to do!
oh man, just wait til she can really talk. my 3 year old is always coming up with some crazy stuff!!
have a great weekend!!
He he, too funny. I need more coffee before I can think of things that I say now....
I hear you on the bathroom thing... since I've been working at night a lot more, I am always here when they clean all the bathrooms on my floor. Inevitably I ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom when he is cleaning the two women's rooms. I ignore the cleaning stuff in the toilet and go anyway. I figure the janitor will catch on (EVENTUALLY... heavens, it's been over a year already). :-p
Aw, thanks for the shout-out!
I cannot believe the things that I've had to say to my kids. How motherhood humbles us.
Thank you for the blog love...I lvoe the "don't put meatballs in your eye" Fragment ..Children are truly a reason to smile as always I enjoyed reading your posts and I plan to check out the other ladies you mentioned today =)
I have never been so happy to hear that someone else has a child that smells socks, licks shoes, and wears potty's for hats...haha!!!
Thanks for the shout out too, I so appreciate it!
I learned long ago to always have some tissue in my purse just in case....actually kinda sad how often I've had to use it!
Hope you have a great weekend! ~jen~
I love reading other people's "things I never thought I'd have to say until I became a mom..." Especially the smelling something part. My son smells everything! I won't give you "specifics" but a few weeks ago, he told me about something he smells in the bathroom... He's disgusting! Another personal favorite of mine "Get your foot out of your mouth! There are toenail clippers in the bathroom!" Sheesh!
Ugh, the bathroom issue would drive me batty. Around my office we have three bathrooms, co-ed. Which already grosses me out. No one is clean like Husby...(dang it!)
Anywho...it never fails...after lunch that all three bathrooms are full due to the men-folk and their post-lunch-dumps. Sorry for the graphic depiction, but it is what it is. So not only are ALL the bathrooms out of commission for like 25 minutes while they are IN there...but for like another 15 after-wards to "air-out." Trust me, if's for your own safety!
I want to go back to my last job where 2 out of the 4 guys I worked with drove up to the local gas station to take care of that kind of business.
Ick.
Too funny!kids are crazy but the good thing is they got us moms to remind them of the things they did when they were little!haha
Funny post! Thanks for the laughs! I love what can come out of a child's mouth! Happy Friday!
Nice to have a male co-worker who looks out for you in your time of need! Mine are awesome, but they would probably push me in and the laugh about it :)
It's really amazing what kids manage to get in their hair. My son decided to use his fork as a hairbrush right after using it to eat gnocchi in butter sauce. You can't just wipe out a grease slick!
lol--you always make me laugh
if i could only remember some of the stranger things i've said to my kids...i'll have to start writing them down
the bathroom--yes--it must be a cruel joke
i am fortunate enough to work in an area that has 5 bathrooms within 10 second dash range :)
i have certainly peed in my share of men's rooms as well as outside in a variety of places
most recently i have peed in diapers (yes--it took two and it took a lot of control--too fast and you are done for) and in my daugher's potty
they are longer stories than there is room in this comment box
but after three children sometimes if you gotta go...you gotta go
kegels...when will you pay off?
Even after four kids, my all time favorite that I would NEVER have thought would come out of my mouth was,"It probably isn't a good idea to play on the roof when I am gone, guys." :)
LOL to the things we say as moms!
I have said "Don't EAT your shoe" as mine like to eat it. YUCK! and more importantly, why aren't these kids dead yet - licking and eating their filthy shoes???
I won't let her play in the giant balls at Chuck E Cheese, but hey, go on and eat your shoe!
THanks for participating in FGF! I appreciate it.
I am going to check out the bloggers you mentionned, if you like them, they must be good!
Have a great weekend. I will be learning how to tweet.
Elizabeth...our bathroom situation isn't THAT bad...other than what was previously mentioned. I hate co-ed bathrooms...and our situation only works when each person takes care of the bathroom when they are done. We have a normal toilet in there...and there are the occasional few men around here that DO leave the seat up. It's just up to us ladies to leave nasty-grams behind for them to REMIND them how to behave in the bathroom! :P
Don't lick the bottom of your shoes, OMG SO FUNNY! ha ha ha! Oh to be young again. :)
btw, in my post today, I DID mention the Rock Hall and although not specifically memorial day...I think I mentioned the ribfest. lol.
Although I should have gone into more detail of those. I just thought it was too long already, lol.
p.s. we got over a foot of snow since yesterday, lol. I'm so sick of this.
Cute post!
My best fried works with me and she does the same things for me. It is always nice to have friends at work that is for sure.
Oh MAN! Did you known I own not one but TWO janitorial companies? Hopefully we don't clean your bathrooms :) It is a joke trying to keep all of the employees at the hundreds of buildings thinking about basic things like...people LIKE having toilet paper to use, and 2 don't clean both bathrooms at the same time. You would be surprised how OUT there this seems to some. They do work REALLY hard and have a job that isn't very rewarding...but really? :)
How about: "Son, just because you farted on the floor, doesn't mean I have to "sweep it up"... No, I it is NOT on the floor... No, I AM NOT COMING TO CHECK!"
LOL! Quit riding the dog like you are in a parade!!!! Awesome stuff! Thanks for giving me a laugh.
I can't imagine how the cleaning the bathroom issue would go over when you are preggo. I NEVER use public bathrooms at stores but it never fails that if I'm desperate, they are always being cleaned. Murphy's Law I guess. I can't blame you for NOT using the men's bathroom.
I could right a book on things I would never say until becoming a mom...as I'm watching my 10 month old already put her finger in her nose. Guess she was a bit too early to let her find the nose.
Im with you I could write a post everyday about the things that I never thought I would say or do until I became a mom! I had a good laugh with yours!!
And that sounds like a bathroom conspiracy to me!
LOL!! I hate when the restrooms are "out of commission". I read your guest post over at Newparent.com. Great job!!
LOL, children are the best entertainment.
Oh gosh girl. Maybe you should print your letter and tape it to the bathroom door next week. It makes no sense that they would clean both bathrooms at the same time.
Thanks for trying to link up. I have emailed the MckLinky guy and haven't heard back yet on how to fix the problem. *sigh*
*blush* and *squeal*! I am just catching up on my reading and just saw your headline! I have the biggest smile on my face!! And -- I, too, have had to use a men's room, but it wasn't because a cleaning person was picking my potty time to do her work... ;-)
I found myself saying this very line just tonight after a long day in the office, "Eva, get your brother's foot out of your mouth." GROSS!!!!
Oh, and that is sooo sweet that your co worker DID NOT guard the door for you! ;)
Oh, Life as a mom. It is the grandest job there is, Just remember that ALWAYS!
Have a great weekend!
LMAO @ the bathroom letter! I know what you mean! They do do that all over!!
When I used to work in a department store, I lived 5 minutes from my house, so I always drove home for the bathroom! I don't really like public bathrooms. I guess no one does.
Just remember, when "G" gets just a tiny bit older, NEVER say, "G' will never do _________(fill in the blank)." Because as soon as you say it, she will do it. I promise.
You could have done a picture story, entitled "What kids can do with meatballs!"
Have a good weekend!
Oh those cracked me up! I seem to always forget to go until the cleaning people come and then I have to go bad! Never fails! And it is amazing the things that come out of our mouths after we have kids! Some could say the bring the best out of us, some could say they just bring the weird out of us!
i love much more than mommy!
I think your work and my work have the same cleaning crew!
Oh, and I was dying over the meatballs!
I've seen you comment on many of the blogs that I visit so I had to come check you out. So far so good!! :)
I find myself saying crazy things too - things like, "That boa is an accessory, not a snack. don't eat the feathers please." I mean, really? My kids try to ride out dog too. CRAZY!
Good thing you had someone to guard the door of the men's room. I've totally been walked in on before in the men's room - AWKWARD!
men's restroooms are ewie!
Happy weekend!
Just stopping by to thank you for visiting me on my SITS day and leaving me some blog love! Everyone was so sweet and I really enjoyed the day!
Blessings,
LMM
ROFLMAO!
If the news gig doesn't work out for you, you could always try out for a stand up comedy. You always crack me up. Have a great weekend, honey!!
Toni @ Hemp & High Heels
Dip away, friend!
I loved the parenting quotes-hilarious! Meatballs in the eyes and ears? lol
DON'T PUT THE MEATBALL INTO YOU EYE!
that's hILARIOUS!!!! BAHHAHAHHA
I'll remember t hat one for when my day comes....
JM
Love your letter of intent!
I so totally hijacked the men's room at Panda Express last week when I was having the week from heck and some teenagers had locked the girls' room.
What? Itty Bit is a BOY, and I'm just accompanying him to ensure that he doesn't get creative with his aim. They should be THANKING me.
Thanks for the chuckles - loved this post!
Im always surprised at the things I have to say as a mom. Like "Get your toes out of your mouth!" To my 8 yr old! Ew.
I've missed your blog, Elizabeth! I laughed out loud at your "Don't lick the bottom of your shoe!" I said the exact same thing to Cecilia last week. She is not quite walking yet, but it's still disgusting!