Oh Tina Fey...
I first fell in love with your uber-dorky self on SNL, back in the almost glory days of the show, when 11:35pm on Saturday's was appointment television. Now, I am obsessed with enjoy watching your alter ego, Liz Lemon, on my favorite (NBC) comedy, 30 Rock. Your character reminds me why I am so glad I went into the news side of TV, never moved to New York City, and got married before people starting making comments about my biological clock.
Because, quite frankly,
inappropriate comments about
a ladies age are always a
DEAL BREAKER.
This week, a Supah cool blog I only recently came across (obviously, I arrived very late at this party) is asking us to divulge about our biggest relationship dealbreakers, in honor of one Liz Lemon. I have been lurking (wow, never realized what a negative connotation that word had here in bloggy-land until now) over at Supah's blog lately, and figured this question was a good a time as any to stop being a wallflower, so here goes my inaugural "All About MEme Monday" post...
First, you're probably wondering, what can a girl whose been married for five years and spent 90% of her teen years and 20s in a committed, monogamous relationship have to say about the bad seeds of the dating world?
PLENTY.
Because my history with conniving, deceiving, fashion-challenged men dates back decades. I was the preschooler who was marrying her crushes on the playground at recess. I was the middle schooler who was organizing group dates. I was the high schooler who always had a boyfriend. And a lot of times, those boys weren't worth a grain of salt:
1.) THE TIME: Pre-school, circa 1986
THE DEALBREAKER: "E" was the coolest boy in school. Years later, he'd go on to become captain of our high school's football team, class president, and attend Harvard (where, I'm told, he got mixed up with the rugby crowd and smoked a bit too much reefer, but that's just a Facebook rumor...). But back in the 80s, he was just the cutest boy on the playground. "E" and I were good friends; our parents even allowed us to play at each other's houses after school. In my 4-year-old mind, I thought (after my daddy, of course) "E" was my soulmate. Then he pushed me off the slide on the swingset, causing my two front teeth to fall out well before their time. Dealbreaker.
2.) THE TIME: Junior year of high school
THE DEALBREAKER: "C" was the new guy in town. Tall, blonde, and feline-like good looks. He was also on the varsity soccer team AND in my AP U.S. History class. Smart, sexy, and athletic--> perfect. I thought so, too, and even when it didn't work out between us, we remained friends and stayed in contact. Then, just before I was getting ready to head off for my freshman year of college, my mom and I came across a small blurb in the crime blotter of the local newspaper: "C" had been arrested for armed bank robbery! Thank goodness our romance had fizzled years earlier, because that, my friends would most definitely have been a dealbreaker.
3.) THE TIME: Freshman year of college
THE DEALBREAKER: On a break with my high school sweetheart, I dove headfirst into the college dating scene by agreeing to go on a blind date with a friend's boyfrend's roommate, "R". "R" did all the right things on the date... he made reservations to a swanky restaurant, showed up dressed to kill, and escorted me in a black BMW. We had a great evening... until the bill came. "R" suddenly had misplaced his wallet, could I pay? He'd make it up to me, he promised. So I whipped out my
4.) THE TIME: Sophomore year of college
THE DEALBREAKER: "J" was my high school sweetheart, and to this day, he remains an amazing friend-- he's even G's Godfather. But our relationship wasn't always so sweet. We dated for three years, and during the end of our relationship, I learned that "J" had cheated on me not once... not twice... but three times. And it wasn't just simple, "I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing" infidelity: Multiple times, he drove across state lines to hook up with an old high school friend. It took me a while after that revelation to realize how dead the relationship was, but ultimately, it proved to be a dealbreaker.
5.) THE TIME: Junior year of college
THE DEALBREAKER: "B" was the last guy I dated before I met DH. He was a member of the coolest fraternity on campus, and he was a total risk-taker. I can honestly say that it's a good thing I dated a guy like "B" before settling down, because he challenged my adventurous side and helped me get out my inner "wild child". Apparently, he'd done the same for my sorority sisters... EIGHT OF THEM! Yeah, total dealbreaker.
And because I couldn't resist adding a little Not Me! Monday action to the blog today...
Find out tomorrow during Truthful Tuesdays, when I ask...
What's the best excuse you ever used
to get out of an obligation like work, school, or chores...
And did you get away with it?
This entry was posted
on Monday, January 25, 2010
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Definite deal-breakers! especially the whole "I forgot my wallet"
WOW! those are good ones...or should I say BAAAADDD ones!
Welcome to the PARTY!
lmbo @ the playground one.. sounds like some boys I had crushes on in grade school lol
TWO FRONT TEETH!!!
Yah. Total dealbreaker!!! lmao
and the bank robber...
you coulda driven the get away car! missed opp if I must say so myself.. ADVENTURE!
LOL!
SO GLAD you delurked.. but i've been here before. I recognize the digs.
xoxox
supah
Total dealbreakers, all of them!
Love your new look, btw!
That was a fun post to read!!!
Sorry you've had some yucky dating deal breakers. I can't say mine were nearly that interesting.
This is great. I once had guy that I had been seeing for only a couple of weeks jump my case for not being in contact with my dad. He completely chewed my out because he thought it was so wrong. He had absolutely NO IDEA about the situation AT ALL, and he still jumped right in there!
Funny post, especially the pre-school guy. Wow, you have come across a lot of dealbreakers.I have come across a couple myself. I am sure every woman has. :)
Oh, yikes...that last one is DEFINITELY a deal breaker!! At least you got to have your fun too, though ;)
~WM
First, I love the new layout. :) Also, I love that I know who numbers 1 and 2 are - you made me laugh! Oh, good times in high school!
OMG, a $100 bill and you never heard from him again...definitely, even had he called, it would have been my breaking piont...love your blog's new look.
Love the new layout-- Banner is all kinds of fabulous!!
I absolutely loved this post!! Thanks for not being a lurker -- I needed a good laugh this morning!!
I can't believe you got stiffed with a $100+ bill for a date! What a jerk!
You're welcome for the award! Thanks for grabbing my button. I got your new one added to mine. I really like your new look over here! :)
Wow, these are all pretty bad!! It says a lot about you being able to forgive J and make him G's Godfather!
LOL!! Those are great! Thanks for stopping over at my blog!
I love the new look!
"C" is stumping me, how can I not think of who this is? I obviously know "E".
This will bug me all day :)
Miss ya,
Car
This was such a fun post!! T hanks for sharing with us :)
dang. Love the new layout!
Swinging by from Supah's. Those are some good deal breakers.
LOL! Are you trying to make me pee my pants here? ;)
Okay, the $100 bill guy... I hope he ended up marrying some awesome gold digger!
I loved your dealbreakers :) I don't know if you were delurking at my place today or if it was a first time visit - either way thanks for stopping by!
Cute post today. I wish I had my hs year book down here to figure out who these guys are. Glad you found your prince after a few toads.
I am obsessed with Liz Lemon and 30 Rock!! It's one of the only shows that I consistently make time for.
I lurk at Supah's from time to time too- glad you played today because your deal breakers are stunning!!! Wow.
Thanks for strolling past my blog. Not Me Mondays are quite an, um, outlet for me :) Curious to see your follow up...!! TJ
Sometimes it takes a couple of frogs to find your prince. lol. Loved the one about the guy who "forgot" his wallet. It reminds me of my deadbeat date.
The first time I really went out with "R" he didn't really have many funds. We were going to an event that wasn't going to be in town for very long so I told him I'd pay and he could get it the next time. Okay, no big thing, right?
Well, the second time we went out I was wearing an adorably tiny outfit with NO place to put my money, keys, or license. I asked him to hold my stuff for me. Then he proceeded to use my money to pay for everything ALL NIGHT LONG. He didn't ask me, he just spent it. Yeah. That was the LAST time we went out!!
OMGoodness! Bill ditchers and bank robbers! LOL Sounds like some wild days.
So hilarious. Absolutely laughing here at work! I may steal this one someday. Because I have some deal breakers.
Thanks for the laugh...as a man, I had to chuckle!
Shane
What a rockin' comment, thank you!!!!!
Lol total dealbreakers! "forgetting" your wallet?! Heck no! lets check before we go into fancy restaurant!
Stopping by from Supah's page =D
OK, so this may have been your first time joining in, but girl you ROCKED this post! The best dealbreaker post I've read! Makes me want to go redo mine, but I'm way to lazy for that.
Anyhow, thanks for the laugh. I'm officially your newest follower.
Crap. Google friend connect is undergoing maintaince. I'll come back. :)
Or when someone asks you if you are pregnant and you are NOT! lol
oooooh, these are definite deal breakers!
a deal breaker for me is when the guy is disrespectful to his mother. it pisses me off!!
p.s. - LOVE your adorable header!!
I loved the way you lead up the deal breaker with the story. How cool is that?! And yes, definite deal breakers. lol
Love the hilarious narratives of "dealbreakers" (and love 30 Rock!). Well done...