You've probably heard the old saying that behind every good man is a great woman (I added the great part myself).
Not that I have an overly-inflated
self view or anything!
thing to prepare for work the next day-- as though it doesn't even exist. I am supremely jealous of his ability to completely zone out and forget his chosen profession so easily; even if I don't always like it, and sometimes hate it, I live, eat, and sleep my job.So anyway, back to this whole "My Husband's Keeper" thing. On mornings such as these, when he hops out of bed 20 minutes before he's supposed to be at work with his breath smelling foul and his hair standing at attention (I really thought about adding a crude joke here, but this is a family-friendly blog, so I'm not going to), I become something of a parent, a guardian , a keeper to DH. I make sure he leaves the house with lunch. With his cell phone. Wearing a clean pair of underwear (that takes us back to another old saying; you know, the one about always wearing a clean pair in case you're in an accident?). I quickly run down a checklist of things he needs before I send him flying out the door with one last, vital reminder: Don't speed (not because he'll get a ticket, he's a sheriff's deputy for heavens sake; because it's just plain dangerous and he's not that good of a driver!).
Then, I settle back into my own morning routine which, on these days, becomes much more harried and riddled with havoc. In my efforts to get him ready and on his way to work, I put myself behind schedule. It is I who becomes the one who has to feed and walk the dog; it is I who must lay out G's sippy cups for the day; and on those mornings, there is definitely NO time for a shower. At those times-- times like today-- I wonder... who is MY keeper? If I am my husband's keeper, if I am the one standing behind him, making sure things are always settled in his world, who is standing behind me? Are we standing back to back, so that he is standing behind me and I him, so we are each other keepers? Or is a woman's world to be so self-sufficient that we need no keepers? Is that the lasting legacy of the feminist movement-- a woman where women are expected to be wholly independent?
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Oh how I relate to this post! I make my husband lunch everyday...and not because I am a June Cleaver..it is because if I don't he will not eat or he will go and spend money buying his lunch which drives me nutty. And then as soon as he gets out the door my craziness of getting the kids ready and out the door begins. So I totally get where you are coming from!
I know that this post was supposed to be lighthearted, but it makes me feel like crying, because that is exactly how I *FEEL* today . . . how has my back. Who is looking out for me. Who is watching out for me.
He does, more than I give him credit for. I suck for that, but I am still clinging to my "what about meeee" pity party.
Good point! I'd like to know who's got my back when I'm continually behind my husband's? I ask myself that question quite often.
LOL I can soooo relate!! I'm always making sure my hubby is up, but I'm always out the door, with JOnJon in tow, way before Mike is! I want someone to cover my back for once! :D
I don't feel like anyone is "keeping" me. I think it makes me sad sometimes, because I just want to be lazy and not think and have a sick day and curl up in bed. But i think I kind of lost that whole thing once I got married.
case in point, husband doing power point presentation the other night.
"hey, how do you do X, y, and z in power point?"
me: "I am not sure. I have to look it up in Help, but it should be easy."
husband: "Cool. can you show me? I mean, you're just blogging, so you're not busy"
me: "ok." so i take his computer, go read through the help, and then show him how to do it.
husband: "see, that's why i love you!"
so yeah, he loves me because i am his power point bitch. why couldn't he look at the help guide. why do I enable this behavior?
kiran
My husband has never been great with early morning events. It's a great thing that he's self-employed, otherwise, I don't think he would be able to pull off the 9-5 thing.
He does help me out, though. If we are rushed, he goes through a checklist with me on what I need to bring. "Do you have your licence?" or "Did you get little e's shoes?" No majah things like you have, though. Just a husband & wife helping the other scatterbrained one out a little here and there. ;)
In my world, when Sean wakes up with 5 minutes remaining before he has to leave for work, it is usually because *I* have accidentally turned the alarm OFF instead of hitting snooze...Sean is definitely his own keeper, and he's been that way since he was at least 15. That being said, I'm always standing behind him, and I love the chance to do what I can to make his life easier.
I'd say you and DH are each other's keepers, with you having the chance to shine a little more often? :)
Good to know I'm not alone. In addition to providing lunch, organizing gear, finding keys, laying out clean clothing (guess why it's clean? That's me, too...) and sometimes even making sure the truck is cranked and headed out, I have to set the alarm a full hour before I actually have to get out of the bed so HE will be on time. I love him and I LOVE helping him, ubt sometimes it is frustrating to feel like the only adult in the house who can tell time.
Thanks for coming by my blog on my SITS day and commenting, I really appreciate all the comment love!
You do bring up an interesting question. I am definitely my husband's keeper - as much as I can be. I wake up early and leave for my 8-4 job and he stays in bed until 10a, spends time with the babe and then goes to his 1-10p job. I like to think that he is my keeper, in return, but he is sleeping when i wake up and isn't home until after I've been to sleep. Maybe the babe?? The babe can be my keeper...she definitely keeps me on track - when it comes to her needs!
~WM
I would have to say in the morning that it is my husband who has my back. He wakes at 5:15 and gets ready, then goes downstairs to drink Mate. If the girls wake up he gets them while I get ready.
Now don't get me wrong there are times when I have his back. If he leaves earlier to go to work our morning routine goes in the crapper and I run around like a chicken with my head cut-off. For the most part I feel that we are standing back to back..
What a great question! When it comes to the morning routine, it would be my husband who has my back. He can hop right out of bed once his alarm goes off. Me...I keep hitting snooze, or worse yet, just turn the thing off completely. He makes sure I'm awake before he leaves for work. Although I've been known to go back to sleep once he's gone :)
I am definitely my hubs and kids keeper...and I keep myself!
Oh I am my husband's keeper. Every time he was late for work though, somehow it was my fault even though he was the one who kept hitting the snooze button. As of late he has been asking me to make his coffee for him. What's wrong with him making his own stupid coffee? If I accidentally leave the clean laundry in the laundry room, unfolded, he's freaking out because he doesn't have a clean shirt to wear to work. *sigh*
I feel like everyone's keeper and have no keeper in return. SIGH.
I like today's tip. I really need new bras.
I think that for the most part we women are better at "keeping" than our counterparts. My husband does a great job helping with the kids and house though.
I am kept.
My husband keeps me moving/motivated in the right direction.
He plugs in my cell phone at night, remembers to put the clothes in the dryer, starts my car for me on cold mornings.....
Hmmmm. I need to do more for him!
I keep my husband going where he needs to go and what not but in return I have no one to help me out but I am used to it and just keep plugging away in life.
I love your tip for the day...My bras have about had it. The poke me continually with those dang underwires! I have scratches on my side for proof.
My hubby would be so lost if I didn't do things around here. They have no idea!
My hubby is probably the more responsible of the two of us. First born, he has all those type A personality traits. He gets up first to take a shower and iron his clothes (amazing I caught this one), occasionally he even makes breakfast for the kids (not often).
I come out after I get ready (I take 2nd shower after all) and get the kids fed, dressed and out the door.
He mostly takes care of himself. It's a blessing. I agree that no one takes care of us... but I guess that's why I have God. :)
Wonderful post. I look after everyone in the house, even the dog and no one has my back. I know my husband likes to think he does, but really...not so much. Such is the life of a mommy. Stopping by from SITS :)
I totally agree we are our husband's keeper's, and our childrens...at least until they (our kids, not hubby's) move out! But yes, no one takes care of us. For some reason we as women feel that we need to "keep" the world, but no one needs to "keep" us!
Now you got me thinking....this isn't right. I need a "keeper" dangit!
I was thinking about this just the other day. Even though I don't work, it seems if I'm not propelling everyone else forward, nobody is. I'm the momentum, get everyone dressed, fed, on task, out of the house, back home, fed, bathed, in bed. I have to give everyone purpose and direction, when I don't, the whole thing falls apart. It can be a thankless job. I definitely relate though. I think most moms can. We need a day when we can just put things on auto pilot and kick back. Maybe, when the kids are in college? Great post.
Oh. Was I the only one chanting, "Crude joke! Crude joke!" in my head?
Wow, sounds just like my house! But, even on days he doesn't oversleep, I get up, make his coffee, but it in his cup, the rest in his thermos, pack his breakfast and lunch, oh, and set out his pill for his stomach and a 1/2 glass of water. One day my 11 year old asked, "why can't dad make his own lunch?...
Ugh...I guess I do these things because that is what my mom did for my dad, but hey, she was a stay at home mom, and I work part time...I guess it's because I am a traditionalist (I think I am making that up, but you know what I mean).
I used to be that keeper ALL of the time (embaressingly enough down to cutting his toenails for him). That is until I had DD #2. I realized I could NOT do it anymore - something had to give. They are grown men who can definitely fend for themselves & need to do just that.
I do some keeping, but not like I used. But, just so he knows I do try and slip a little note in his lunch sometimes just so he knows that the love is still there. I just don't have the time anymore.
I'm sure that sounded so mean. I promise I'm not. We (me & DH) do a good job of helping eachother be the keeper. I don't know how it worked that way, but I guess that's why it has worked so well, for so long.
I forgot to say - I always tell people, "I need a wife!"
I am a lucky woman who has an amazing husband that helps with everything (cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc)
LOVE your blog SITSta!
Only time I really feel that I am being dh's "keeper" is when he has to pack to go somewhere! Its like he can not figure out for the life of him what he needs! Its so frustrating. He can get himself out the door in the am. I am just his food maker! Ha!
No one is my keeper-Lisa: I need a wife too! Ha!
thankfully i'm not my husband's keeper. at least not right now. he is a SAHD. when he first stayed home with my daughter, i was like, "write the schedule down and always making sure he knew every detail." now, he handles the kids better than I do at times.
once he starts working here pretty soon, that could change. i am my kids keeper and at my old job, i was my co-workers keeper.
In my case, we definitely "keep" each other.