That New Baby Smell  

Hmm... (laughing)

Yes, this is the conversation being, ahem, had in our home now...

Like you we had a plan, and now that it is in action - we are rethinking said plan...

It's funny, my MIL waited 8 years between her first was born & second was conceived (then only 18 months before her 3 arrived.

My mom waited 4 years between me & my brother.

Yet, EVERYONE seems to think we should be pregnant already - even though J is just 21 months.

And my feeling is... I've put it in God's hands. He'll help us figure it out, if we just stop and listen to him... I firmly believe we have Jacob because of Him and His Grace, and any additional little feet will be at His Grace as well.

As for that pressure - Turn it over to Him, and you'll be amazed at how you feel. Hugs!

We had our second baby 3 yrs and 3 months after our first. Then we waited almost 8 yrs for a third. If you want to spend more time doting on little G, that's what I would do. I think you'll feel it in your heart when the time is right for you. God will let you know.

My first two are 22 months apart. How did I know, I can't explain. I just had that feeling. Same thing happened with the 3rd. Then came the discussion about the fourth. I didn't feel the same that time, but my husband did. Ultimately, we didn't have another & have declared ourselves done. You have to do what's right for you.

I became one of those that never got around to another one. I'm okay with having just the one - I can't imagine having more now. But, if I had it to do over - I'd give it 2-3 years between babies.

You are so lucky to have a choice! I had my daughter and then two years later went into menopause so that second baby we had hoped for didn't happen.

I can understand that you feel pressure. For me, it was important for my daughter to have at least one sibling to grow up with. Not sure a puppy is going to make up for it!

Good luck to you regardless of what you decide to do. Just make sure that 20 years from now you will look back at right now and be happy with the decision you make.

Is that more pressure!?

I am new!!I just figured out why I couldn't comment on your blog, because the window to do this was hiding in my browser! Sorry for not giving you credit on the Blog Hop , Tuesday Truth thing. I just copied from Hiedi!! I am glad you are a full time working mom too like me! I am no help with when to have a 2nd b/c i have twins and I couldn't even think about a nother baby. Even though I want a girl! I Hope you continue to check out my blog! Thanks!

We didn't really have any pressure. We were the first on both sides to have kids. We had two and thought we were done. Then baby fever hit. By this time his sister and three step sibs of his were starting to get pregnant. All five of us girls were pregnant and due months apart. Now 16 months later two step sibs are pregnant again. I thought I'd be sad because we had three already and we are done, but it turns out I'm not sad. I will be fast asleep while they are up all night feeding a newborn!! lol

I am the same way!! I think our girls are very close in age... and like you I just couldnt imagine adding another one to the mix right now. I mean I think it would be neat to have them close together later on in life so the could be "friends" and play together BUT another one on top of this stong willed diva I have...hmm dont think so! Not sure when that time will come of if it will come..time and God will tell us :)

I feel the pressure like you. 3 women that were pregnant at the same time as me are expecting again, but I'm totally content with just Cate. I like being able to give my full attention to her. I'm looking forward to getting her out of diapers. I love my friends' babies, but I'm just not there yet. And there are days when I definitely feel like I will never be there. Who knows when we'll be ready for #2 or if we'll ever be ready. My strategy for the moment is to just enjoy today and enjoy the blessing that Cate is. Thinking too far ahead just stresses me out, so I choose not to go there.

I knew I wanted my kids two years apart. But I got anxious and we started trying a little earlier than planned. Connor was about 15 months when I got pregnant. God also apparently thought that one baby was not enough, so he blessed me with twins the second time around. And that's why there is not going to be a third pregnancy! ;) I feel in my heart that I am done.

Well, first of all you daughter is just over 1 right? When my 1st was that age I wasn't ready for another baby either. I knew that I wanted another baby, but not until my 1st was about 2 and a half. My 1st was actually just about a year and a half when SURPRISE I was preggo again. I was on the BCP too. :/ Anyway, my first thought was "crap", but then in the next instant it changed to excitement. By the time she was born my 1st was just over 2. I personally Love their age span. I was just telling my hubby last night how many people I've found on here that have 2 kids like us that are 0-1 and 2-3. So maybe if you think about it this way, it could help you with your decision... If you found out you were pregnant, can you honestly say that you'd be bummed?
Also, my sister and I are 5 years apart. I hate it. We weren't ever really that close. Maybe it's just us, but I've always blamed our age span. I wish I had a sister that's my best friend so bad.
Anyway, just wanted to share personal experiences with you, I hope maybe it helped. :)

*chuckles*

The very same thoughts have been crossing my mind the past several weeks.

At first, DH and I initially planned to get off of BC when DD turned 18 months. Then, I asked him if we could wait until she turned 2. She'll be 2 next month and now i'm thinking as much as I want another one, I just dont think I'm ready to do it at this time.

Like you, the PRESSURE is on. All of my first time Mommy friends are either already pregnant with #2, just had #2 or soon will be TTC #2. The PRESSURE is definately there. But we have to ask ourselves this..."are WE ready?!"

I think it might be safe to say you will be in my boat and just hold off - savoring all the moments we currently have with our First's! And that's okay. :o)

Kathie
www.frugalfitandfabulous.blogspot.com

I am about like you. Everyone around seems to be getting pregnant or are pregnant, and some of them are on their 2nd child too. I wrote a blog not too long ago similar to this topic. I had a glimpse of a baby fever, but I had to talk some sense into my head. I am perfectly happy with one child. The thought of another baby sounds good at first, but then when I really think about it...I'm good :) One is just fine with me.

This is a conversation hubby & I are having too. We never planned for any of our kids so I'm not sure how that works :P AFter my son was born I knew I wanted to wait a good while before ever even thinking about another b/c of his disability. But surprise! I got pregnant with our second when he was 10 months old. And got pregnant with our 3rd about a year & a half later. All surprises & all conceived on BC. :)
Now that all my kids are getting older - our 'baby' will be starting preschool next year, I have baby fever BAAADD! We're just not sure adding #4 is something we can do right now.

A couple of things were considered when we were planning for number 2 (& 3) We were self-insured at the time and had to wait six months for the maternity rider. We also wanted our kids to be close in age. Our son turned 1 in August and we started trying in September. My husband then lost his job in February, we stopped trying and of course got pregnant. When we found out it was twins I said I was DONE, DONE, DONE, but now that the girls are 1. The thought of them being my last babies just doesn't sit well, but I don't think I'm quite ready for baby #4 (or more). So we are also talking about it in our house, but the girls will like be 2 or older when we start trying, if we start trying. My brother and I are 5 years apart and that is what worked great for our family. I think there is a lot of societal pressure these days to have your kids close, but really you need to consider what works best for your family. I honestly never even believed I would consider getting pregnant again.

As you know, I have 2 of my own plus my stepson. At least I think you knew that. Anyway, I always said I wanted 2 or 3. After having my second, I thought for sure we would be done. Then, I started with the same thoughts you're talking about. Now, not so much. If it weren't for my fear of the relationship between my two little ones being altered, I probably would go for it. But I am so close to my brother, that I hope that for these guys. I think a third would shift that somehow. Oh, and as far as number 2 and how I knew it was time...really I wanted a boy. A boy of my own, and I had this feeling one month like he was ready to be a part of our family. That it had to be NOW, or if we waited it wouldn't be him. I got pregnant that month after ONE time. Pretty much meant to be :) Wouldn't trade him for the world. But I believe you have to just "know" it's for you, and if it never comes, oh well. Just enjoy your time with G. Her baby days will be over way before you are ready for them to be.

You're having the thoughts that every one of us has had.

We always said we wanted them 2-3 years apart. But I had just gotten back in great shape and was thinking about holding off. Then I figured, "Let's just go ahead and have another now so that I can then get back to my body - and for good!"

We also wanted to have them be closer together (the boys are just under 26 months apart) so that we could get it over with and then be young enough to travel, etc when the finally left the nest! Sounds horrible and we were in no way rushing through the baby phase (b/c I will miss it when it's over and all is said and done), but I am 30 and hubby just turned 33, so we didn't want to be much older than that when we finished having kids.

Plus, I figured I wouldn't have to get all new things for the baby b/c of safety things changing/expiration dates on carseats, etc. Sure there's a plus to waiting so the first is older, but just with any age spacing, there's negatives to that too, like you mentioned.

I just kind of knew I was ready - as ready as anyone can ever be anyhow! No one is REALLY ready! ;-)

I completely understand where you are coming from! I think this topic is on my mind every single day, but I just know that now is not the time. Holding that same sweet, tiny baby (as well as my own nephew) did not give me that "baby fever" I thought I would surely have. My hands are full with the one I have! I agree with some of the other ladies, prayer is your best option. I do think that when the time is right for you, G, and DH to expand your family, you will just know it. :)

Hey, girl. Obviously, we're not thinking about #2 since I'm still preggo with #1, but we've discussed it. My ideal? Having Norah potty-trained before we TTC #2. There are 3 1/2 years between DH and his brother and it worked out great for their family. We'll see what happens!

Great post! Neither my stepdaughter nor my oldest son were planned, so the decision to have child #3 when my husband and I married (he was 41 and already had a 13 year old) was huge. All I knew was that I wanted to have a child together. Best decision we ever made, although it was totally haphazard and we've had many a "what were we thinking?" moments along the way. We wouldn't trade our little guy (or any of 'em!) for the world. HOWEVER, I think we would be totally happy if we had never had more kids too. It's all about trusting your heart. People who pressure their friends/kids/sisters make me CRAZY! Come read my "pressure" post if you want! http://crazyisjustrelative.blogspot.com/2009/01/ahead-of-game.html

Can I just say, being pregnant is the worst thing in the world? I am so excited to have another baby (my second)but quite frankly, I really am tired of the pregnancy. All of our pregnancies have been surprises to us, so I can't tell you when we knew it was time. Good luck with this decision!

My oldest and my middle child are 10 1/2 years apart. When Sissy was 4, we decided it was time, so we began trying. The trying process went on for 5 years, and we finally gave up, deciding that maybe we weren't meant to have any more. Then, out of the blue, I discovered I was pregnant with Diva. What a blessing!

As for Peanut (our caboose on the baby train), we weren't really trying, but had decided that if it didn't happen before the hubby turned 40, it wasn't going to happen at all. Peanut arrived 26 months after Diva, and I'm so glad they aren't any closer together.

Trust me, you'll know when the time is right.

I think it's nice for the kids to have siblings somewhat close in age to play with.

So what I want to know is..how are you racking in all your followers..Dude!! Besides having a fantastic blog and writing fantastic posts..It's awesome!

I have no words of wisdom for knowing when you're ready..you'll just know..

Okay and how do I find my giveaways..well, for the one I'm having now..I just went on Sephora.com..saw it, liked it, thought..ooohh that'd be fun to giveaway..:-)

Keely

As a mom of 3, whose kids are all 3yrs apart, almost exactly, my best advise is to just wait.

If I would have had a clue how much easier having a baby would be when my oldest child was OLDER.. omgosh.. my first two would've been no less than 4yrs apart.

When my third was born, my oldest was 6, and the middle was 3. Can I tell you how helpful a 6yr old was?! I enjoyed my little baby boy soo much more b/c of the older ages of the big kids. (the 3yr old was still kinda tough..)

The good news is, it doesn't matter how far you space them. If you're ready for another, you'll welcome the shake-up for a new baby. Trust me! :) My sister and I are 6yrs apart and she's always been my best friend! Close in age doesn't guarentee friendship, nor does age gap equal distance in relationships.

A lot of people have pressured the weatherman and I to have another offspring. Little dude is awesome, rockstar even. Beautiful and smarter then he needs to be. BUT I don't want another one. All those same people don't understand I am content with what I have and now that he is in school, I don't want to start all over again.

I am the only mother of a singleton with GF directly in my age group. You know what? I see all the insanity they go thru, good for them and they are great mothers. It's just not for me.

If you don't want another, OR not ready you shouldn't have to explain yourself. BUT there is nothing wrong with "practicing" with the hubbs. hehehe!

I am in the same boat.
I want another one, but Merrick is fully potty trained/sleeping at night/independent.......
I just started sleeping again, am I ready for crying all the time and diapers??
Yes, I am.
But, when those "special" days roll around, I find myself avoiding my husband at all costs!!
Hmmmm.....my psyche is trying to tell me something!

As soon as our first was out of the baby stage (6 months old) I knew I wanted another. I wanted them close together. Now as for the 3rd, well that one kinda happened by "accident", a lot earlier than I could have imagined. But of course, we wouldn't have it any other way!

My hubby and I knew we wanted 2.

My sister and I are 3.5 years apart.

My hubby and his brother are 2 years apart.

I just wanted to be done all at once. I guarantee, right at first, it's def. more difficult, but now that they are 6 and 4, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

One boy, one girl, and they really are good friends, and everything siblings should be - maybe a little bit of enemies, a little bit antagonists, but they back each other up too!

:) God will tell you. You need to make the decision based on that and your own personal reality.

Thanks for visiting! :)
Following you now. You comment, I follow!

My girls are 5 years apart and I truly believe that is a PERFECT gap, although I would have settled for 4 years apart.

When they are that far apart the older one is FULLY aware of what is going on and even able to get excited about having a new brother or sister around. My 5 yr old was the best helper in the world, she was my extra hands when my husband wasn't around and I truly believe that is the reason her and her sister have such a special bond at the age of 7 and 2, they're best buddies! I highly suggest going with your gut instinct whatever that may be. If you feel like waiting then wait, if you're ready than go for it girl. Only you and your husband know what is right for your family.

I often ponder having a 3rd but then think I'm crazy, but a TON of my friends are having babies and that gives me the 'fever'. Babies are the greatest joy in the world, its when they're 7 and talking back that you wonder, ha ha! Totally KIDDING ;)

Take care!

Well there is 9.5 years between my son and daughter, and there is a very good reason there is such a wide age gap. My son was a strong willed intelligent jealous little monster when he was little. It wasn't till he was 5 that I even thought about #2. DH was never really ready, still isn't but since he's not here anymore who cares ;)

I like the large age gap because I can leave them home alone together, well as long as the boy takes his meds, for a period of time. It really does help. Now my daughter does have to do everything her brother does, so that can be challenging. Like seeing a 3 year old running around playing laser tag, running in a 50 yard dash and swimming (she's grown up at the pool).

Its tough, because I started over at the infant stage right when my son was in the pre-teen stage. But now the teen stage is pretty similar to the pre-school stage- neither one wants to listen to me.

I say go with your heart, you will know when you really are ready.

This conversation happens ALL.THE.TIME in our house and I have no idea when we'll be ready for #3.

#2 was a surprise right after my son's second birthday and we've almost recovered :)

I keep saying that we'll be those parents with high schoolers and a new baby. I just can't commit and keep thinking that I will KNOW when it's time. It clearly hasn't come yet.

that's it... we are officially long lost sisters... we have way to much in common. my boy is 10 months and i'm getting the jitters again to have another... our 3rd.... dh would kill me though.

our second was kind of an oops. i'm not on BC so we never do it w/o a condom and we did one night, right in the middle of my cycle... 2 weeks later i had a feeling and i was right. hannah was almost 1 when i found out. i think i was so in love with being a mom and how much fun she was and how good of a baby she was that i was ready for another. even though he was kind of an oops, i was secretly very happy. now, i'm definitely willing to wait a little longer. but not too much. we're not sure if we're having # 3 yet, but i would totally go for it. hannah is not fully potty trained (workin' on the poop thing). she was still in diapers when noah was born. i would definitely say waiting til the older one is out of diapers, and more independant is helpful. but at the same time having them close is sooooooooooo much fun. hannah loves her brother and noah follows her around all the time. it's awesome!!

oh and i was just going to post something about having another kid... you totally read my mind!!

I wasn't ready when I had my 2nd. It worked out ok though. They are almost 3 years apart.

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog, I love hearing from new people! You are correct, my daughter is a complete daredevil...pretty sure she will make me need a pace maker in the next five years. :) I've learned to keep my camera close by to capture all of her moments b/c no one believed me when I told them what she did all day! Your baby girl is so cute and her eyes are beautiful! I enjoyed reading your post too b/c I'm in the same boat as you. Some days the thought of having a new little family member is so exciting and the next I can answer with a roaring "NO!" I say maybe get your IUD out and just leave it up to God! That is prob what we will end up doing if we are brave enough to add another. :)

I feel the exact same way right now. I have my two, and although we were originally planning on trying for our third this fall, that time came and went! I just didn't feel ready. I have 11 friends/family members that have recently had babies and I do not get baby fever while I'm holding the babies, but I do feel like I'm missing out in a way. Right now, we're aiming for next fall! ;) We'll see how I feel then.

I just knew it was the right time to try for our second baby. I hope I get that same feeling when the time is right!

love to hear from you! have a nice day!

Love the honesty of your blog. :)
When we had our first child we were constantly vying to hold her, so our solution was to have another. ;)
We also knew we wanted our kids to be close in age.
But we're going through the same thing as you regarding #3, I don't feel the desire...yet.

Http://musingsfromthepregnantmind.blogspot.com

It's funny - I just "knew" that it was time - perhaps I was just following my original plan, but I didn't falter from that. I'm glad the boys are 22 months apart. Our family is complete and I'm not enjoying DS2 getting his independence.

I couldn't imagine in 8 years or so - doing it all over again....however, talk to me in 8 years!

Oh I have so much to say on this one...

When my husband and I decided to have Brooklyn that was the agreement, one baby. Then she came and that changed everything. She DESERVES a sibling, and we suddenly found ourselves talking to the point of exhaustion about when, and if. But I love my career, what about our social activities, we love to travel...all of that came back up like it did with the conversation about 1 and we were caught in the loop. I think you should take comfort in the fact that so many others are trying to decide this very thing...and...you may not know the exact time, but you'll figure it out.

I can honestly say, from my perspective, waiting too long will make it harder on me. I need to make these babies and get on with it! :) But, waiting works for so many people too.

So, I've basically just talked in a circle with NO real advice to give you. Good luck though!

I actually wrote a post about this :
http://bazmorepartyof5.blogspot.com/2009/11/well-i-thought-i-was-done-lol-but-i.html

Honestly, I knew that I only wanted one, but I knew that I might have those urges in the future, so I had a tubal done after one, and I am so glad that I did!

My son is 26 months now, and we realize he needs a sibling LIKE YESTERDAY. He's ready, we're ready, he needs someone to (fight) play with. People have told me that it gets easier with the second, because they entertain each other, and I was doubtful - but I'm starting to think it's true. Otherwise WE need to entertain him all the time! Too bad I missed the memo nine months ago, it's going to be a loooong wait now.

Oh, and I'm new :) and I'm sooo pleased to find a mommy blogger who works (has a job, I mean)! I'm not the only one! (you do work, right? because I haven't gotten to the "about me" part yet, but you mentioned maternity leave...and the title kind of implies.. but then, HOUSEWORK is WORK too, I know, I know). Anyway, even if you don't, I'll be back :)