I know I'm a mom because...
I routinely pick up crumbs and other tidbits of discarded, half-chewed baby food from the floor and (gasp!) eat it just to avoid yet another trip to the trash can...
The part of my cupboards that used to be occupied by beer steins and margarita glasses is now taken up by sippy cups, animal crackers, and cheese straws...
I narrate my hourly (seriously, wasn't my bladder supposed to go back to its normal size after giving birth???) trips to the bathroom for G's benefit, hoping she'll pick up on this crucial information for potty-training down the road...
I've spent more money on diapers and wipes in the past year than on dinners out, new clothes, and Starbucks... combined...
On the rare occasions I go out with my friends, I have to watch myself so that I don't speak in "baby talk"...
Whenever DH & I take G out to eat, the evening always ends with me on my hands and knees under the table... picking up bits of food G's tossed around during the meal (what did you think I was doing under the table, sickos!)...
Even after my "cleaning lady" display, I still tip the waitress upwards of 30% for the mess and chaos we've caused...
I still wear my nursing tank tops... even to the gym...
I have to wait to put on jewelry until after I leave the house for work in the morning, otherwise my daughter takes it, chews on it, then manages to lose it in her toy box...
I am more eager to dress my daughter in the morning than sort through my own, ill-sized (in more ways than one!) wardrobe...
I can't sleep at night unless I first check in on my sleeping angel in the room across the hall...
95% of the conversations I've had in the past year have been about my daughter. And during the other 5%, I've been holding my tongue so I don't sound like a completely obsessed mother...
Sometimes, in an effort to get out of the shower before G wakes up from her nap, I forget to rinse the conditioner out of my hair...
When G starts fussing in the car, I often burst into song at the top of my lungs, using lyrics which I have rearranged to my daughter's delight...
My tabletops, countertops, and desktops are all bare in an effort to avoid the marauding eye of my kleptomaniac toddler...
My heart is bigger, fuller, happier than it ever has been in my entire life...
...all because I'm a mom.
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on Thursday, October 22, 2009
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Ohmigosh Elizabeth - this is too perfect!!!
As for the food on the floor, we've found it has endured J to our doggies quite nicely, and I don't have any clean up.
Granted, I do have to watch out that J doesn't try to eat a stray piece of floor food, as ours is rarely clean enough to eat off of... Well, you know, those dogs & all.
Hugs! Ali
Such a sweet post. New reader to ur blog!
P.S. your daughter is beautiful!
Hahaha! I had to laugh at the first one. Bentley is good for that sort of thing. Unfortunately, eating a bunch of random stuff usually makes him sick to his stomach, which means he then throws it all up (and more) somewhere else...
I do at least 9 of those things.. Only instead of forgetting to rinse the conditioner out, I forget to shave a leg... I thought I was the only mom corney enough to arrange songs to amuse Mason. to the music of "she'll be coming aorund the mountain.. "mason, mason daniel, mason man, mason, mason daniel, mason man... he is so very cute oh yes he is so very cute he's mason, mason daniel, mason man". thee more where that came from ;)
I stumbled on your blog through Mama M's...my little boy was born in Sept. 2008 too! Your post sounds exactly like our house! I sometimes wonder how I really got here, and how I am so lucky to have such an amazing little person in my life. Nice to *meet* you!
Hahaha...those are all true. I can't stand how much of my cabinet space is taken up by sippy cups, plates, and goldfish crackers now!
Great post! I did a "You Know You're A Mom" post on my blog, too.
http://theunexperiencedmom.blogspot.com/
Tamara
I love your blog! Being a full time working mother is TOUGH!! This is such a sweet post, and you have the cutest little girl!
I love this post! And I'm glad to hear I am not the only one who crawls around the restaurant floor, picking up all the food the kids have dropped. ;)