They Say It's Your Birthday  

It's my birthday, too.

No, I wasn't born on September 14th. Today is G's first birthday. And although we don't share an actual birthday, G, DH, and I will always share today.

It's hard to believe that the child fast asleep upstairs in her crib was just being born a year ago today. That it was exactly 365 days ago that I first held her in my arms for those brief few minutes before she was whisked away to NICU. You see, G didn't exactly have a typical first week of life. Born with an abnormally high bilirubin count in her blood because of an incompatibility issue with the placenta, she spent nine days in neonatal intensive care before she was discharged. During the first three days of her life, I held her twice for a total of about five minutes. Her daddy didn't get to hold her until she was four days old. It was brutally difficult, but it definitely put what a miracle her birth-- any child's birth, really-- is.




This weekend, amid the parties and the cake and the princess tutu and tiara (you knew I'd have to dress her like the royalty she is!), I found myself getting teary-eyed at the smallest details. Picking out the candle for the top of her birthday cupcake made me misty. Browsing the racks at a children's clothing store-- and seeing the 0-3 month clothes that haven't fit in months and months-- made me nostalgic. But it wasn't until all our family and friends gathered round to sing "Happy Birthday" to my baby... ahem, my toddler... that the waterworks began to flow.




How did we get here? How did this fragile little being grow up right under my nose? I remember all the milestones. I wrote them down! October 29th- her first plane ride to visit family in Texas. January 19th- her first rice cereal. February 22nd- her first tooth. They literally fill a book (and two scrapbooks, and two picture albums). I remember the small moments that nobody writes downs or even photographs. The nighttime feedings when I got to snuggle my sleepy, cuddly baby. Long walks through the neighborhood together. Lazy afternoons on a blanket in the backyard. They are images etched in my mind forever. What baffles me is how quickly it all passed us by. And how much we've changed.

When DH and I decided to start trying to have a child, we thought we were prepared. We'd managed our finances, put our careers in order, and even "tested" our parenting skills on Ducky. But after a year of parenthood, I now realize there's no possible way to prepare for a child. Being a mother or a father requires nothing but on-the-job training. You can't practice things like nursing, all-nighters with a fussy newborn, or changing diapers. You can't rehearse how you'll calm a teething child or react when that same baby throws food in your face. You can't imagine the swell in your heart when that child cozies up against your shoulder, reaches for your hand after a day at work, or gives you a spontaneous kiss. Parenthood is all about adjusting, evolving, growing. In the last year, DH and I have changed and matured just as much as our precious G.



So today is more than just a birthday. It's a family anniversary. It's a reminder of the hallmark moment when two became three, and those three became one. G, your daddy and I are so proud of you. Whether you're fast asleep or babbling up a storm, we look on you with wonderment and joy. Your presence in our life has given new meaning to love, faith, and prayer. DH, thank you for being the most spectacular father to my child. I couldn't have gotten through the past year without your unyielding support and unquestioning love.

Happy birthday, G!



(By the way, has anybody else noticed the little "birthday cake" icon on the blogger sign-in page over the past week? It's made me feel like the website is also celebrating G's birth with us!)