G Ate Poop  

Wait! I guess it should be G did NOT eat poop. You see, I'm playing along with MckMama's "Not My Child" (aka "Not Me") Monday for the first time today. MckMama is one of my favorite bloggers, and a great inspiration as well. And I figured, since my blog is all about confessing to things, what better way to get a few things off my conscience?

If you're not familiar with MckMama's blog, follow the links on mine. You can get there in one of three ways: clicking on the "Not My Child" link in this post, the "Pray For Stellan" link on the left side panel, or the direct link to her blog in the "Blogs I Follow" section.

Anyway, let me begin this post again... This week, one of my wonderful online friends did NOT find her son with a dingleberry in his hands, poised to eat. And Friday night, G did NOT totally one-up my friend's son. Not only did she NOT poop in the bathtub (wow, a double negative in that sentence... does that negate the not-me-ness of this post?), she also did NOT pick up one of the little nuggets and try to eat it! Where was I, during all this? Obviously, I am not stupid enough to leave my 11-month old in the bathroom alone; I had simply turned my back momentarily to clean the toilet (where people are SUPPOSED to poop!). If you've ever seen G's bathroom (formerly known as the spare bedroom), then you know it's teeny tiny and that it's impossible to be more than four feet away from her at any given time.

In more bathroom fun, G did NOT insist on standing in the tub this week during bathtime with DH (see, I'm not the only one whose had bad luck in the tub this week!), only to slip, fall, and get her very first black eye. DH did NOT take a picture of the bruise, despite my protests that if he posted it anywhere, we would look like child abusers. We did NOT placate G's tears with a popcicle. It was 15 minutes before bedtime, people, and stuffing the child's face with a sugary treat would NOT have been irresponsible.

G has also NOT taken to the lovely habit of eating all her board books. These were the books DH & I strategically placed in the family room, her diaper bag, the sunroom, for her reading (ok, looking) enjoyment. In the past week, G has NOT managed to eat the nose off a very cuddly puppy, has NOT pulled out all the "glitter paper" from her "First Words Sparkle" book, and has NOT tried to eat a picture of an Easter egg. I have NOT allowed her to do all this, thinking it's simply a good source of fiber and will keep her regular. No way!

And while we're on the topic of things G likes to put in her mouth (wow, in this post alone, we've covered poop and paper), I should mention that she in no way, NO HOW, likes to sample Ducky's food. Ewww, gross. That would NOT be something a sensible parent would allow her child to do. It would NOT be a constructive way of distracting my daughter while I get dinner ready. Absolutely not.

Do you have a confession you'd like to make? Feel free to share... I won't out you if you post anonymously either. We all have things we need to get off our chests now and then!